~Just a little bit more~

I'm left with the exam papers on the coming Wednesday and Thursday before I can shout Eureka! Not that it's my last semester or that I'm graduating, but it definitely would be the end of my current semester. Then again, I didn't suffer this semester as much as I did with the previous as there are only two subjects now. Taking three subjects was like hell to me. There was hardly any time to rest; the assignments just continued pouring in and I didn't even have time to slow down and enjoy the learning process.

I'm suppose to be studying for my exams but here I am, blogging about how I'm suppose to be studying. Haha... I guess with my time flexibility, it really has given me the bite of getting more lazy than I was before, procrastinating even more because I know that I have more time in hand than my fellow classmates. This is a bad bad sign. I should be improving in my time management with past experience but I don't seem to be taking in the lessons too well, am I? This could be a pending New Year resolution for me. Hehe...

Dec is gonna be a sucky month for me although it's gonna be a relaxing one as I'm gonna be on 3 weeks break. Why the sucky-ness? Cos it's filled with holidays and my students are declaring their own holidays as well, not to mention that I have to call off a whole week for a cruise trip with my family. Well, this would simply mean that I won't be earning sufficient $$$ especially when I spend for Christmas and my holiday trip - plus with CNY around the corner, I'm definitely not gonna be saving any penny possible. Life's tough all right...

BUT... I'm happy that Suan is coming back and Deb's finished with her course. I'm looking forward to being 38 with her and the rest of the gang, just like the old times...

Just a small note here:

To the "him", I really appreciate yesterday's discussion. It was indeed a meaningful and aspirational one. It will definitely set me into my thinking mode again but the input is precious nonetheless. Thanks for always being by my side whenever I need your support. Glad that you're apart of my life. Loving you...

~What do I want?~

In my last post, I mentioned that I was offered a lecturer position to teach general psychology subjects in HELP's very own Matriculation Program. I sent in my CV anyways despite not having made a decision. And now I have an interview scheduled after my exams next week.

My head is filled with questions. I'm kinda anxious and yet excited. I seriously have no idea if this is the step that I want to take.

I mean.. I know I enjoy teaching but lecturing is a totally different experience. And that would also mean that I'll be back to my regular 9-5 working hours. The good will be that I'm gonna have a stable pay and I would say it's a good stepping stone in my teaching career. I don't have to worry about student's cancelling classes and counting the pay that I get every month... However, there are things that I'm gonna have to give up now for that job, the biggest thing being my time flexibility. Location is not a big problem although I'll need to wake up very early and come back late to avoid the jam, not to mention the parking and toll fee. But it's also an advantage cos I'll be able to attend class right after I finish work. As I mentioned, the biggest disadvantage would be time. I won't have the luxury of taking my own sweet time to finish my assignments and study for exams. I won't have the luxury to wake up anytime I want (hehe) and plan my leisure activities whenever I like. I'm not sure if I'm ready to give that up at the moment....

I'm thinking if this opportunity came towards the end of my masters program, then I probably won't hesitate so much. I'll probably have more confidence by then, knowing what I wanna do and where to head. Another thing is that, my job as a home tutor is beginning to establish more now and I'm expecting more stable pay. Is opportunity knocking at my door at the wrong time?

I'm talking like as if I've already gotten the position. Haha...

I love both teaching and psychology and this is indeed a good opportunity to merge both my interest. The question is...

Am I ready?

~Never crossed my mind~

I just found out my interest in teaching not long ago and I do enjoy teaching the language that I'm comfortable with. I have confidence in what I'm doing now and I have a vision of offering my service to those who are in need and upgrading the level of English in Malaysia, how ever little influence I may exert.

Suddenly, I have been offered a chance to lecture General Psych in a Pre-U (Matriculation) Program in HELP, recommended by both my classmate who's lecturing in HELP and my lecturer. My, I do have strong cables/ connections. Haha...

First thing that crossed my mind was - I have no confidence whatsoeva at all! But both of them managed to identify my positive assets and instilled some encouragement in me. I was seriously on cloud 9 that time... Weee....

Well, back to reality... I guess I might as well just give it a shot. It's actually not that easy cos I'll need to go through the usual CV, interview process and this time, with an additional mock presentation.

Anyway, I'll just proceed with it and see how things turn out. I may not be fated with the position after all, who knows?

~How was it?~

Thanks to all those who greeted me for growing older yet another year.

Some asked how did I celebrate my birthday this year?

Well, simple... I spent it seeing doctors, doing assignments and teaching. I had an appointment with my neurologist that morning and then, accompanied my mom to her doctor in the late afternoon. When I reached home, it was homework time because I had two assignments due date coming up and as usual, I have my class to teach on Thursday night.

But...

I spent a lovey dovey day with him on Saturday, sort of like a compensation for not being able to celebrate my birthday on the exact date. I felt really appreciated that he felt guilty cos it shows how much he cares about me (hehe...). What did he get me? A pair of shorts that I've been wanting to get since August but I didn't because of the price. Plus, he got me a rather thick black jacket (from Esprit, mind you haha) because I had been complaining about how I don't have a proper jacket previously. I mean, I do have other jackets, but definitely limited. Two had already had its "bulu" popping out all over the place (which I really dislike in tops) while another had black ink spots on it. I'm only left with a white which was a very nice gift from my friends last year.

I would like to thank the "him" in my life for celebrating my birthday with me. It was really sweet and thoughtful of him for the date and the presents. Loving u always, dear...

~Happy 23rd Birthday, Jac~

I'm officially 23, on par with my other friends, which to me, is not a very happy thing cos the age beginning with 2s seriously pass by very fast. It feels like a nick of time since I celebrated my birthday last year.

Dear "Almighty Force" (whoever you are/ wherever you may be), please do let time to tick by slower...

I would like to savour my life to its fullest every second as it ticks. It's not gonna be easy cos I/humans tend to live lives in the past but this is what I would like to do. What wishful thinking...

What's my birthday wish?

*Shhh...* For me to know, for you to find out...

~Fated~

In my last post, I was still contemplating on which dress to wear to my cousin's wedding and the decision was finally made on Friday noon when something happened. It was like an omen, telling me that I was fated to wear that particular dress. I had two dresses in mind - one, the voluminous tablecloth and the other, a pink flowery dress. I was already inclined to wear the pink dress as I was afraid of being overdressed in the tablecloth. So, on Friday noon, I wanted to iron both dresses and the pink came first in line. Now, the pink dress was made of netlike material (I dunno what the cloth is called) and being careful, I adjusted the iron temperature to a "2". Unfortunately, me being green, the temperature somehow managed to burn through my dress; not the blank burnt type, it left two lines of torn scars on my dress.

The first scar. The dress has a inner pink layer. So, it wasn't noticeable.

This was when I took off the inner pink layer. Darn, it's bad!

I knew that was it! I was never gonna wear that dress to the wedding. They weren't obvious but... the dress was no more perfect! And the two lines were very sensitive, a slight rub/ contact with the environment would cause it to tear even bigger... That was when I felt the omen - I was fated to wear the tablecloth. Well, I do have other dresses but these two were the ones bought with the name of my cousin's wedding; that's why other dresses were not included in my choice. When the day came and I wore my voluminous dress in the end, it actually went well and things were perfectly fine - neither overdressed nor under-dressed...

That is what I mean by ~fated~

~Impulsivity kills~

I bought a piece of dress from Envie previously, with the reason of my upcoming cousin's wedding. Now I have no idea (at least, for now) when will I be using it for.

I've had mix reviews regarding the dress, from me wearing to a table cloth, to the dress suiting my personality and suitable to create volume to fit my petite figure.

I seriously don't know. The thing is when I bought it, I must seriously admit that it was an act based on impulsivity, especially with the bright lightings and mirror effects, in addition to my mom and sister's encouragement and praises. Haha... So, I am now "left stranded" with the dress, which I have no idea what type of occasion would suit its usage, besides grand functions.

I actually have other dresses to choose from. But... Would this dress be suitable in the first place?

What do you think?