One man's meat is another man's poison.
Some might think that indecisiveness = simple, tolerable, "cincai", compromise etc. (characteristics of someone who gives in to others)
Some might think that indecisiveness = unassertive, easily succumb to pressure, no stand, gullible, even pathetic to a certain extent...
I believe I'm not the only one with the indecisive problem, it's just the intensity level which differs and for me, I would say that I'm almost at the extreme, about 85%?
Probably because I have been brought up to live a "cincai" life that I don't really bother much. Other than that, parents pampering of may have not allowed much opportunity for me to decide on things. From places to dine to fashion, I seriously do not have a strong stand. Or maybe it's only when I'm with Hc that the problem becomes apparent...
My decisions almost always turn out faulty. E.g. Place that I decide to go was at the peak hour of jam, the later air flight time that I booked made us spend extra money, clothes that I decide to buy (without him) aren't very suitable for me (when I thought it was nice at the time of buying).
Well, it's true that I do need to learn to how to make decisions and it is by mistakes of now, that I'll decide better in the future. It's just that... sometimes it really takes a harsh turn and I'll end up all demotivated. It's like whatever I do/ decide just doesn't seem right...
According to the theory of operant conditioning, when the desired behaviour is performed, one is rewarded and when the undesired behaviour is performed, one is punished. How often do we practice this, especially in our critical culture? Feedback/ critics to many = things that are not good ONLY. What happen to the positive events? How are we suppose to keep up desired behaviours when the element to motivate is unavailable? There seems only to be punishment at all times, psychologically and physically.
I suppose it's the same with me. When I decide right, everything may have turned out just fine but there's no support/ encouragement. But when it's wrong, there comes all the bombarding, without fail!
How will I ever overcome my indecisiveness?
Some might think that indecisiveness = simple, tolerable, "cincai", compromise etc. (characteristics of someone who gives in to others)
Some might think that indecisiveness = unassertive, easily succumb to pressure, no stand, gullible, even pathetic to a certain extent...
I believe I'm not the only one with the indecisive problem, it's just the intensity level which differs and for me, I would say that I'm almost at the extreme, about 85%?
Probably because I have been brought up to live a "cincai" life that I don't really bother much. Other than that, parents pampering of may have not allowed much opportunity for me to decide on things. From places to dine to fashion, I seriously do not have a strong stand. Or maybe it's only when I'm with Hc that the problem becomes apparent...
My decisions almost always turn out faulty. E.g. Place that I decide to go was at the peak hour of jam, the later air flight time that I booked made us spend extra money, clothes that I decide to buy (without him) aren't very suitable for me (when I thought it was nice at the time of buying).
Well, it's true that I do need to learn to how to make decisions and it is by mistakes of now, that I'll decide better in the future. It's just that... sometimes it really takes a harsh turn and I'll end up all demotivated. It's like whatever I do/ decide just doesn't seem right...
According to the theory of operant conditioning, when the desired behaviour is performed, one is rewarded and when the undesired behaviour is performed, one is punished. How often do we practice this, especially in our critical culture? Feedback/ critics to many = things that are not good ONLY. What happen to the positive events? How are we suppose to keep up desired behaviours when the element to motivate is unavailable? There seems only to be punishment at all times, psychologically and physically.
I suppose it's the same with me. When I decide right, everything may have turned out just fine but there's no support/ encouragement. But when it's wrong, there comes all the bombarding, without fail!
How will I ever overcome my indecisiveness?
1 comment:
hey jacqueline,
i myself am trying to learn how to appreciate every decision i have made. the road is tough. but i am here with u. its hard as hell. i just wanted to let u know ur not alone.
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