From the time I started setting my goal, I have only managed to achieve by a little bit less than half. I have not been able to proceed towards my goal which shouldn't be the case. Lacking of self control. Lacking of the ability to delay gratification. Where is my self regulation? I have failed in this...
As I'm typing, I'm experiencing the failure. Very much disappointed & angry with myself.... I know in every part of me, I could always have done better. I know I am capable of reaching my goal but... I succumbed to my own desire instead. My "id" has taken over once again while my "superego" is now taking over me with guilt and resentment. Where is my "ego" when I need it?
I have got to keep my head straight if I wanna reach this goal of mine. No more excuses. No more "Nah, it's ok. Just this once." No more!!! Have to be more strict with myself. I know I can do better & I will! I must... recover my source of self-esteem...
Short term goal for this week - 2 - If not, I will take further measures of punishing myself. A promise to myself...
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