To do what I should or To do what I want?

Hey ppl... Back into blogging after quite a while...

What am I doing besides work, work & work? I've come to realize that work's one of the "boring-est" thing on earth... unless, that's unless, one has found the job of his or her dreams. In my case, sad to say, it is not my dream work. Then, some may say, 90% of the time, ppl end up doing work that has either nothing to do with their course or ppl just end up not doing the work of their dreams, be it the environment, job scope, bosses etc.

Why am I not satisfied?

Come to think about it, my job scope wasn't drawn out specifically. I know Miss Sze Ee has told me to keep an eye on this issue but I didn't understand her meaning well then. I totally get it now. I am suppose to be a Sales & Marketing Exec. Much to my surprise (or may be not), I'm doing 70% admin work now. From typing to photostating to emailing, even to MAKING MILO, I've done them all... Wondering why am I still staying there?

There are few reasons why:
1. If I leave, where am I to go after that? I have not secured myself any road ahead. So I don wanna quit without knowing my direction...

2. I don't wanna be judged as a person who can't withstand the "challenges" outside. I know very well that I can be good at my job, doesn't matter whether I like it or not. I'm a person that aims to excel in the things that I do (not boasting k...)

3. I'm being exposed to a lot of skills & knowlegde. My boss passes down a lot of things for me to, forcing me to learn things that I've never imagined I would know, sometimes beyond my capacity. I get a lot of exposure in my workplace.

Seriously... Deep down inside me... I wanna do something that is related to psychology... I MISS PSYCHOLOGY! Be it child, counseling, industrial, as long as i'm doing something close to psychology, I will have strong passion & enthusiasm towards it!

I wanna continue my studies, my masters but sometimes reality just suck! Financial's a problem... Deciding which Uni to go to is another problem... Deciding what do I wanna specialize in is also a problem...

I've heard comments that I suit sales or marketing or PR but I have yet to see myself flourish in those areas. May be cos I haven't been given such opportunities. At my current working place, there aren't much sales or marketing to do. By the way, I just found out that my job scope focuses on internal marketing (research & database updating) which wasn't what I was looking for in the 1st place. I wanted something outgoing, something exciting, something vibrant... N yet now, where have I landed myself into?

Almost every single time that I've talked to Hc about, almost every single time I'll ended up dropping a tear or two (should be more than that)...

I don't wanna give up... but I don't wanna do something that I don't enjoy doing...

Yesterday, I had a new perspective... I wanted to be the person up there, sharing my experience & motivating ppl through the knowledge & skills of psychology... The word that came into my mind was INFLUENCE... I want to make a difference in people's lives through psychology... The question is HOW?

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*LOST*

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