~Jac's page~ "Do not believe everything you think"

~Heavy heavy day~ Alone versus Lonely~

2010-02-04T10:21:00.005+08:00

Got up early in the morning just to be bombarded by unexpected emotional turmoil...

From the start itself, I know we were putting in extra effort. It wasn't asked of us but we insisted on doing it, never expecting a "Thank you" or any other words of appreciation (at least I did it with total consent of the lack of support).

Personally, I know I didn't put in as much as effort as she did. All I did was just choosing and scanning the pictures, at most cropped here and there a bit. But she put in much more effort than necessary and I really give her the credit for having to put in so much time and dedication to the utmost outcome of the whole project. I was amazed by the progress that she managed to make in the past 2-3 days. I wouldn't have been able to produce such results, if I were in her position. I don't dare to take in the credit for what she has done. It's all hers and hers alone.

And now, having coming to the wrapping of the project, we're faced with obstacles, huge ones and these are none other than "people". It wasn't the material resources that we lack; it's the people that we have trouble connecting with. At times, I wished that they weren't so wrapped up in their own world that they turn oblivious to others around them. The project wasn't about them per say in the first place. It was done for the benefit of others too, a memorabilia of the bits and pieces through out the years that they're endured together. All we needed was for them to speak a few words or two, words of encouragement to their fellow colleagues but I suppose they placed far more importance in their ego above everything else. I was disappointed having been turned down once but I got more disappointed when I got smacked the rejection for the second time; whatmore from a person whom I'm closer to. The hurt runs deeper when closer bonds come into the picture. I was drowning in my misery at being given such a negative reaction that I just poured my tears out to the extent that I was struggling for breath. That was how hurt I was! I had the impulse to just vent out, letting that person know that I do not wish to be embroiled in the midst of all the conflict that he was involved in with whoever. I had no part to play in that. All I asked for a short, simple request and all I got was a painful thrust into my heart. Well, it wasn't as serious as I described. He didn't do much but the words to me, were closer to heart and therefore, more hurtful, that's all... I later got an apology call and that brought more tears because I know it wasn't an easy gesture for him. A simple "sorry" was not a simple task for him to say, especially to me. I appreciated that. I then replied him a thank you and letting him know that I was partially at fault for not asking his opinion of the matter (he gave a 2nd call and told me about his frustration of which I didn't know how to respond because I was chocked by tears)...

Having put this aside, I wanted comfort and so I called the person so dear to me to hear a word or two from him, or at least to listen to his voice and I ended having to apologize for disrupting his busy morning. I knew that he was hell busy but it wasn't a call meant to disturb. All I wanted was comfort, that's all..... But no, it just added to my emotional turmoil....

I then came to the realization that no matter how people around me are always there for me, I am nonetheless in a journey all by myself, without anyone to turn to for comfort in moments of need. Such hipocracy in what I preach and yet unable to live up to. Therefore, the question: Am I alone or am I lonely?

An emotional roller-coaster ride indeed....

A whole lot of disappointments in one heck-of-a short morning...

From Year 2009, June to Year 2010, February

2010-02-04T09:14:00.005+08:00

It's amazing how I've managed to procrastinate and only update my long-forgotten blog now. I suppose I've gotten to the point where I need to vent something out somewhere and I've decided to come back to my lonely place of solitude. In a way, I'm glad that not many visit my page; or maybe even none now, which makes it even better for me, especially now...

Summarizing a little bit of year 2009, there were many a things that happened, including my beginning of practice during practicum which was all over the place. I hardly knew what to do when I was thrown deep into the pit and was expected to "help" people, instead of drown them along in my almost-untrained-skills. However, I was able to survive the ordeal and have since been practising as I'm doing my internship now. Truthfully, I don't think I've gone a milestone with what I'm doing now. It feels like I haven't done any serious counseling ever since it started; or maybe I have without my realization but I have not conceptualized any case so far. Hmm... Come to think about it, I believe I could have done so with some of my cases and I missed the opportunity. I am currently serving my internship stint in Hospice Klang. It's an NGO which caters to advanced cancer patients, mainly in the provision of pain-management. I'm sort-of their "guinea pig" of beginning the branch of emotional support for patients and family members. It is sesiously not an easy task. I hear referrals almost every single day and death news almost every week. Patients that I've bonded with left very abruptly, way before the time of their expected demise. Well, I suppose that's part and parcel of life - nothing is as predictable as it seems. I did learn a whole lot of medicinal knowledge, apart from brushing my counseling skills. I know the names of medicine and their functions and I also know how to measure BP now! Yay! The doctor and nurse actually seriously recommended me to take up medicine as they see potential in me being a good doctor. Haha... I appreciate their thoughtfulness and it will be a thought at the back of my head for a long long time but I suppose an ideal that I will not fulfil...

I really left out quite a whole chunk of 2009, didn't I? Was just thinking about my long long holiday with Hc. Should've looked at the dates and calculated that "feng shui" before we decided on the holiday. It didn't go as smooth as planned. I fell sick in Singapore and our hotel was way far from the mrt station. Then I was down with ulcers and was complaining all the way, so much so that I could hardly savor anything down my throat in Club Med!!! Then when I got better, Hc was down with food-poisoning in Redang. What a trip!

My birthday and Christmas was quiet as Hc was all the way in Teluk Intan. It's ok. It was part of the deal. Let's hope my "investment" pays back in the end. Haha... It doesn't sound very nice is it when I use the word investment. Well then, let's hope my commitment and devotion is reciprocated...

I had the biggest present from Hc when he got me something really expensive (which covers my birthday, Christmas, our 7th anniversary and Valentine's day). No, it's not an engagement ring. Haha... It's a piece of elecronic item which to me, is very costly though it may not to others. I really appreciate his thoughtfulness. I suppose my feelings are reciprocated after all (not that I'm measuring it with material value haha...).

Crossing my fingers for a smooth sailing year ahead!

Oops...

2009-06-24T14:26:00.003+08:00

It's been like forever since I last updated my blog. Really my bad...

As for the girls outing, I really wanna type an entry about it cos it was really a memorable one and I'd like to keep every detail of it but... it's definitely not now that I'm typing it. Can u imagine? The event was almost 2 months ago. How time flies...

Many things had taken place through out the whole May and June. My holidays just passed me by and now I'm doing my practicum along with my Family Therapy subject. Practical training for counseling is seriously overwhelming especially when there are sooooo many hours to clock in. It doesn't seem to be ending but I'm glad that the students' short semester's coming to an end. This week is sort of like my termination week with my students and I won't be seeing them for weeks to come. This is also bad news for me as I won't be able to clock in sufficient hours for me to fulfill my practicum hours. So, for those who are in need of guidance, be it serious issues of daily problems, do contact me. I'll be more than glad to help you. I promise I'll be a good listener as that's what counselors are and I'm training to be one. Am I excited? Do I see myself as a future counselor? I guess I do for now. I don't know how well prepared I am to be a full time listener. It's seriously not easy. It takes a lot of my mental energy and concentration; can be really tiring at times. Try doing 5 sessions in a row, back-to-back in a day. Gosh!

I'm finishing my group hours this week as well. Hurrah!

Also, to add, I'm gonna be going to Singapore this weekend. Will be meeting up with May along the way. Hopefully we'll be able to pair her up with one of the IMU bachelors. Haha...

That's all for now. Typing this entry during my one and only free time... There'll be more time to come, at least that's what I'm hoping for...

Twilight - Bella's Lullaby (official song from Twilight soundtrack HQ) + clips from the movie

2009-06-06T05:23:00.001+08:00

~Back and tired~

2009-04-12T14:48:00.002+08:00

I just came back from yesterday's tiny trip with the bunch of gals in KL.

Tired... but it was one hell of a night!

We had tonnes of fun and this is like probably the one and only time that we're gonna have such outing.

Quote: Once in a lifetime experience (S. E. Gan, 2009). Haha...

Will blog about it once I've refreshed myself.

Till then...

Well done, girls!

~It's finally over... for now~

2009-04-09T17:12:00.002+08:00

It is finally over, though it wasn't the most satisfying one.

My spring '09 semester has finally ended. And it ended rather disastrously. Why? Because the paper sucked big time. Note my words - The paper sucked big time, not me... read all the theories in the book (almost all the chapters) and I still couldn't manage to answer the questions. Whatmore, I barely had time to even attempt those that I left out to do later. What the hell is "behavior potential"? Gosh...

Anyway, let bygones be bygones.

I'm looking forward to a fun weekend. Hope it goes well as planned. And as many participants as possible *You should know who I'm talking about*

I can know concentrate on my Pet Society and Restaurant City and pou as many shows as I want on tv and youtube!

Hoorah! Merdeka!

Before doom's day the next semester....

王力宏2008 心．跳 -春雨裡洗過的太陽MV

2009-03-30T13:20:00.004+08:00

Another recommendation of Lee Hom's latest hits.

His inspiration for this song came from the realization of stressful lives that people live today. He wanted to compose a song that would make people smile and relax while listening to his song.

Lyrics:

分开之后另一年的春天
记忆也像下雪一样溶解
那些有你在身边的影片
呼的一声飞得老远老远
爱在夏天过完之后锁在秋天
当爱过多年之后的我好了一些
雨后的天上彩虹出现衬出一片蓝天

我在淋过一场大雨之后的晴朗
那是春雨里洗过的太阳
每个冬季带来失落伤得多深
然后忽然看懂云的形状

If you listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
那是春雨里洗过的太阳
每个冬季带来失落伤得多深
每个呼吸都是新的芬芳

流下的眼泪留下了智慧
爱情会天亮也一定会黑
世界会等我它问我冬天过去没

...春雨里洗过的太阳

~Not bad, not bad~

2009-03-28T17:15:00.002+08:00

Saw this website in Neng's blog and thought I could just give it a try.

Not bad indeed for a personality test with unknown reliability and validity.

I acknowledge, to a certain extent, the accuracy of the information provided in the test:-

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Those who are interested, you can visit the website: Personality test

~Tickets to Lee Hom's Malaysian Tour Concert~

2009-03-27T17:00:00.006+08:00

MUSIC MAN - LEE HOM LIVE IN MALAYSIA 2009

王力宏大马演唱会2009
Date: May 2nd 2009 (Saturday)
Time: 8pm
Venue: National Stadium, Bukit Jalil (Outdoor)

I finally, finally managed to buy his tickets!

Previously wanted to buy online but they said that the credit card holder needed to be present at the redeemable ticket counter, 2 hours before the concert. I don't have a credit card; so forget about it. Similarly with bank-in, we could only obtained our ticket 2 hours prior to the concert - no 安全感... Then, I went to the outlet in 1-U but they said the tickets were not available at the outlets until April. Got his concert tickets at the Galaxy office in Boulevard, Midvalley. Took me almost 40 minutes just to get those tickets from the organizers. The whole time I was guessing that they had either not finished designing or printing those tickets. And the thing was I wasn't buying like some cheap non-numbered seatings and yet, they treated me like as if they were the boss when I was the consumer! Gosh... Even at such an early stage of buying, the seats were already sold all the way till row-G. What the heck happened to row-A to F? According to that guy, all the tickets were sold out. Puhlease... Like I believed him! Most likely those were reserved for the sponsors etc. But he managed to get me row-E instead. Well, I guess the waiting was worth it then. Haha...

The envelope.

Took them forever to process for the purchasing of 3 tickets.

Close up of the ticket - Seat E (38, 39 &) 40. Expensive and hopefully, worth it...

The cash voucher that I got - 9 pieces of them. I guess they're giving away a piece for each purchase of RM100 worth of ticket. Should've just bought two and get a RM30 rebate on the 3rd. How dumb... We weren't informed earlier. So, for those who are interested in going to any concerts organized by Galazy, I'm giving away these vouchers because I am unlikely to be going to any concert for the next 3/4 of the year. Btw, only 2 pcs of vouchers for each purchase of concert ticket but it's still better than nothing. Don't miss out the opportunity!

I know some thinks it's not worth it to pay so much just to see that one person performing on stage when I can just buy a DVD or watch it on tv at home. What's missing is the live atmosphere, the collectiveness of the audience having been assembled together, just for the one goal of supporting the very talented and superb singer on stage. There's no right or wrong, more of a value argument.

I'm definitely gonna enjoy that night!

~The condition of my car after slight modification~

The back bumper of my car was pressing and rubbing against my tyre; so they had to pull it out a little and bend it back. Looks not so bad now, eh... Gonna be repairing it real soon. Just waiting for the spare parts now.

王力宏－心跳

2009-03-26T00:30:00.000+08:00

His latest song. His lyrics and melody is just phenomenal!

Will be attending his concert on May 2nd in Bukit Jalil. Really looking forward to it...

加油吧,音乐才子! 支持你的好音乐!

~One of my worst weeks~

2009-03-20T17:18:00.004+08:00

I'm suppose to "fan tai sui" this year - those born in the year of ox will not be experiencing a smooth year, or so I've been told. I guess I would agree to a certain extent considering the events that have unfolded since the recent Monday (16/03/2009).

It was another Monday where I would somewhat reluctantly motivate myself to attend yet another night class in college. As usual, I left home at 5.45pm and the journey seemed like any other nights; there was no indication whatsoever about any mishap that was about to befall the innocent me.

It was raining lightly when I took a right turn at the traffic light, as I drove towards Jalan Dungun nearby my college. There were a few cars turning right to join the slow crawling traffic which was congested by cars moving towards the heart of the city. This was when my misfortune took place - malang indeed tidak berbau...

The taxi in front of me took an abrupt halt which of course made me jammed my breaks to the maximum. I believe I was able to stop in time but the car behind me, unfortunately, had to bump right into my right side bumper. That time, I knew I had been sandwiched in between a taxi and a gold-colored atos. Rain started to get heavier but I was in no mood at all to hold any umbrellas. The back plate number of the taxi came off one-sided because of the slight bump and the taxi-lou, who was a 50++ year old man with white hair, wanted me to compensate RM20 for the repair of his plate number. I didn't want trouble, neither did he; so, that was easily settled or I thought so at that time because only later did I realize that my front hood was compressed inward!

As for my back bumper.... The lady who was in her 30s and looked like an OL, was sulking when she came down from her car with her umbrella held high. I remember her asking/ interrogating me, "How could you suddenly stop like that?" I just answered, "I've already stepped on my brakes as much as I could and I still couldn't brake in time." A friend told me that I should've just replied, "Hello... The taxi stopped. What did you expect me to do? Accelerate instead of stepping on the brakes?!" My dad too said he would be darn pist with the lady. I was actually naive enough to tell the lady that it was my first accident. Haha.. Lucky for me, she wasn't like any mean or unscrupulous, non-sensible driver on the road. She claimed that it was her first accident too. As I had no experience whatsoever, I called my dad. He told me to ask the lady how did she intend to solve the problem - to settle or to report to the police. She seemed blur as hell and the decision was up to me. By that time, two helpful men (kae-pos) already had their car - one tow-truck and a persona (I think) - parked. It was obvious that they were there for business. They were somewhat convincing me to settle it outside and not report to the police and how they offered to tow our cars to their nearest workshop. In the end, my dad just decided that we would report instead of going through the hassle of waiting and negotiating. The lady was open to my suggestion while the two men looked disappointed. One of them even offered to help me turn the tables in a way to show that the accident wasn't my fault but the lady's. I was thinking - the taxi-lou didn't wanna get involved in this accident; so all in all, it was me, the victim, whose car got crashed at the back by another lady! I attended class that night anyway although I could hardly concentrate. I had to endure the horrible sound all the way back home because the bumper was pressed against my back tyre.

What's the irony in this accident? Remember the bump that I had in January because of my carelessness when I was reversing the car? The new bump is exactly the same spot as the old bump! *Picture below as reminder*

Accident in January

Latest accident - side view.

Back view.

Close up.

The front hood that got compressed inwards as a result of the bump with the front taxi.

The next day, my dad and I had to go all the way to Damansara to make the report, only to realize that we had to go all the way to Petaling street to report at the traffic polica station over there. We had to wait about 1.5 hours just to see the sargeant and we were told that the lady had already lodged a report in the afternoon. No worries, the fault was still on her side. I was already late for a replacement class (masters class) when we were done with all the hustle and bustle of police report. My dad offered to drive my kerepot car back while I drove his innova. There was a BMW blocking his car and she intended to drive away when she saw me going into the innova. I didn't know what the hell was going through my mind while I was reversing the huge car. I paid too much attention to my left and I somehow neglected my right. Despite the reverse sensor ringing loudly in my ear, I stubbornly reversed.... And yes, there was another bump! This time, it was the BMW. Just before I drove my dad's car, I had this thought about how I might involve myself in an accident while reversing the car and deja vu... It happened as "anticipated.".. I immediately picked up my phone, wanting to call my dad only to press the speed dial to dial Hc's number. Gosh! Seriously... Citing my previous blog - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??!!

Lucky me because there were only light scratches on the BMW. I was grateful that the lady was a darn nice one. She even comforted me not to be so panicky. Probably, she was afraid I'd be overwhelmed if she had confronted me otherwise. No compensation whatsoever... Phew!

I think this was the scar on my dad's car. The thing is there are too many scratches on my dad's car that it's hard to identify which was it. That also explains why no one in the family noticed. Haha...

The two-day incidents really got me distracted. I even vomited on Monday night. Some would suggest that I was experiencing Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which I can very surely deny. Most likely I hadn't been eating right that day. Hc said I wasn't concentrating at all. I must agree... It was like my 2/3 accidents in 2 months this year, after driving for almost 6 years!

What a week....

~What's wrong with me?~

2009-03-18T00:27:00.004+08:00

As the title implies, "What's wrong with me?"...

Things haven't been going well recently and I seem to lose concentration easily. I haven't been progressing well in my studies, and I guess, neither in my teachings. Then again, humans tend to focus more on negative stuffs when they're overwhelmed with negativity around them. There must be something positive - as they say, there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud...

Well... I was very happy with my ex-students who scored exceptionally well in their SPM but I was also disappointed with others. I was sorta questioning whether I am a good teacher. I guess there isn't really an objective way to measure that. Some students are better able to accept my teaching methods while others may not. So, I've gotta learn to adapt left, right, up and down to help my students in the best way possible...

Whatever mentioned is nothing compared to the even more recent mishaps in my life.

What the hell is wrong with me?!

~Addicted~

2009-03-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

I'm a confirm addict... of...

FACEBOOK'S PET SOCIETY!

I blame my sister for getting me involved in this game in the first place and I blame her now for whatever addiction I have come to have...

I've always had trouble with self-regulation and delaying of gratification. This is so me...

Nonetheless, it's her fault!

Argh!

~Interesting things seen in Penang~

2009-03-02T15:34:00.009+08:00

Every place has its own touch of originality; so does Penang.

In the snake temple:

First glance, I thought it said "Just for book". Well, it is nonetheless a direct translation from Chinese to English.

Creative, don't you think so?

We were at this Dato' Keramat place eating seafood popiah and pasembor when a few of us were dying to go to the loo. And this was what we saw at the public toilet:

And yes, they did provide the public with slippers. The toilet was well maintained, mind you. We initially mistook the toilet as a surau.

Nasi Kandar has been said to originate from Penang. I guess it really did because it is seen in quite a lot of places in Penang. The famous Nasi Kandar Pelita and Nasi Kandar Kayu seem to have branched out rather prosperously. However, I have heard that the pioneer of nasi kandar is located in a small cornered stall nearby the UNESCO site in Penang. They start selling only at 10pm and their customers take the liberty to line up even before they start business. We were there by 10.30pm and true enough, the line as going towards the road. As you can see, the title is self-explanatory:

The line never seemed to shorten and was at one time reaching the road. It was not a short process of waiting but people were patient. I suppose it was worth waiting because their nasi kandar was indeed delicious!

Khoo Kongsi:

Hc had a chance to visit his ancestral's temple/prayer hall but only at the gate as it was already closed when we got there in the evening.

~A funny 招牌~

2009-03-01T19:38:00.006+08:00

Was in Batu Pahat earlier when I stumbled upon this signboard.

Lost sense of direction?

~Delayed - Valentine's in Carcosa Seri Negara~

2009-03-01T15:23:00.004+08:00

We initially did not plan to celebrate Valentine's as Hc was struggling with his finals. Then, my mom asked me out of the blue whether we wanted to go Carcosa Seri Negara in KL. I had heard of that place during my stint in Nam Fatt; how my manager had "mengagung-agungkan" that place and insisted that we had our high-end event there. The offer that my mom got was through a lucky draw and was bound to expire on the 15th Feb and my dad was not keen to go to an English dining place. So, Hc and I decided to go ahead with the plan instead of putting the offer to waste.

Carcosa Seri Negara.

We left Klang at 2.15pm and were supposed to reach there at 3pm. Being blessed with the wonderful traffic in Klang, I was on the verge of giving up the idea but Hc insisted, saying that it would be a different experience to have tea in such a high-class area. We managed to reach Carcosa by 3.30pm. The place was indeed rather grand, secluded and tranquil in its very own style. The place used to be inhabited by some hotshots as it really did have a touch of royalty.

All the while, I thought it was an offer for hi-tea for two but it turned out that it was just an afternoon tea! We were served with a pot of tea each to our choice and pastries to go with tea. I had peach tea while Hc had camomile. It was really a different experience all together; indeed an eye opener, I must say... I think the price per pax for the afternoon tea is RM66++. Gosh! Can you imagine? That much of money just for a pot of tea and some pastries, and of course, the environment!

Tea with the tray of pastries.

Inside the balai.

Outside the building.

The spacious toilet.

I'm glad that Hc made the right decision to continue with the plan or else we would have missed out the opportunity to mingle with the upper class.

Not bad, not bad...

~Bermain-main dahulu, bersusah-susah kemudian~

2009-02-26T23:27:00.003+08:00

I'm back from Penang.

And after all the fun...

I'm gonna have a tough weekend ahead - with one quiz and one thinking assignment to be handed in on Monday!

I know, I know... I brought this all on myself. Should've finished it earlier but I didn't. What did I say about procrastination? I guess it didn't work out so well for me...

Well then, All the best to myself...

Aja-aja fighting~ Haih~

2008-07-18 超级星光大道第三季 part 12

2009-02-16T11:14:00.001+08:00

I like the song composed by them both. It's a very touching and meaningful song.

~A mind-blogging movie~

2009-02-13T23:54:00.003+08:00

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button".

*Disclaimer: Parts of the movie are being shared in the following blog entry. Do not read if you have not watched and you're in for suspense for the movie*

I would say it's a movie worth watching despite the slowness of the movie. Then again, it wasn't meant to be filled with action-building-momentum and it was a movie with the content all spread in front of the audience from the start. We all know that it talks about how this guy called Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt), who was born under unusual circumstances, gets younger as he ages.

It was a mind-blogging yet meaningful movie. It hid a lot of subtle yet identifiable messages. For one, we should live our lives to its fullest despite the hardship we face, no matter how different we are from one another; savouring every beauty that we have been showered with since the day we arrive at this world. None of us is ordinary and there is always potential in us to push ourselves above our limits. Life is meant to be experienced, not wasted by letting the minutes tick by every day. Rid the rigidity and welcome flexibility and openess...

There are also parts in the story that were heart-wrenching. Benjamin lives a very lonely life. As he ages younger, people around him tends to grow naturally towards old age. Thus, he has to face many a death in his life since his young days. Not only so, the people that he knows seem to come and go and none ever really stays long, not even his loved ones. The movie portrays him as a lonely old man/man/teenage/boy, all the more with the "weird-ness" that he needs to endure with. He does not have the luxury of watching his daughter grow. Imagine how a mother would introduce her child to the father who's younger than the child. How devastating would that be... Benjamin needed to make big sacrifices and he knew that he had to live his life all by himself. Alone, yet not lonely; or maybe alone and lonely - I'm not really sure which life he led but it definitely was an emotional-filled character.

I cried when his daughter read those postcards written by him, knowing how he had to miss being a part of her life because of his condition. I cried when he suffered from alzheimer and Daisy (Kate Blanchett) had to care for him, from a young teenage till he died as a sleeping baby. I trickled another tear when I left AEON. That was how impactful the movie was to me. Emotional as I am, it touched me deep.

Hc was somewhat affected by the movie as well. It, to a certain extent, may be useful for him in deciding for his recent matters.

So, for those who are thinking about catching a movie, you can consider the Benjamin Button movie.

~Procrastination, yet again~

2009-02-13T11:22:00.003+08:00

Both my assignments are gonna be due soon.

Anxiety is building in me...

All thanks to procrastination, ONE of my worst habits ever.

~End of CNY~

2009-02-10T12:46:00.003+08:00

So fast. Too fast actually. The whole Chinese New Year just passed us by.

Well, I guess that's the end of the holiday spree, all the way Hari Raya last year till this year. The upcoming "celebration" will be the ever lovey dovey Valentine's Day which I will not be celebrating this year due to certain circumstances. Honestly, I do think that the event is over-commercialized though I enjoyed celebrating it once in a while. Haha.. How conflicting is that...

Anyways, it's time to get back on my feet. My first assignment is gonna be due soon and here I am, taking my own sweet time again. Argh! When will I get rid of my procrastinating habit?

I am however, looking forward to the end of Hc's exam. Wishing him all the best!

Many more things to think ahead. Many more critical life-altering decisions to be made ahead.

Whoeva says that life is a bed of roses is a big fat liar!

Life is never easy...

~Dress up~

2009-02-03T01:20:00.003+08:00

My sis was playing games from this website and as I browsed further, I found this game. Reminds me of my childhood days when my friends, my sis and I used to play paper dolls together. Ha~ The good old days... Now, we have it online and it's never gonna go missing unless the website shuts down. Actually, it's quite an interesting website with a lot of games from dancing to cooking, all the way to detective games. You can visit it at www.Y8.com.

Makeover Designer

Click here to play this game

~A father's love for his son~

2009-01-31T18:40:00.001+08:00

I happen to stumble upon this message and video in Neng's blog. He cried. And I cried even more. A very touching and inspiring one indeed...

No matter how cynical the world may turn out to be, this video shows otherwise...

Love rulez!

Neng's page:

This is a True Story!

Son asked his father, "Dad, would you be willing to run a marathon with me?" The father, despite his age and a heart disease, said YES. They ran that marathon together. The son asks, "Dad, can you run another marathon with me?", again the father said 'YES'.. They ran another marathon, together.

One day the son asked his father, "Dad, would you please do the Iron Man with me?" ( Now, just in case you don't know, 'The Iron Man' is the toughest triathlon in existence - 4km swimming, then 180 km by bike, and finally another 42 km running, all in one race. ) Again the father said 'YES'

Maybe this does not move you yet by heart ... but wait till you see the video. Its ok if you feel like crying for the courage, passion and love for the son.... You will add to the > 2.5 Million people who had seen this.... and Don't wait to see it another day, JUST DO IT NOW!

~Interesting ox attributes~

2009-01-31T11:00:00.003+08:00

Courtesy of Wikipedia:
Disclaimer: Please read with skepticism. Source may not be entirely reliable.

People born within these date hellos can be said to have been born in the year of the Ox, while also bearing the following elemental sign:
19 February 1901 - 7 February 1902: Metal Ox
6 February 1913 - 25 January 1914: Water Ox
25 January 1925 - 12 February 1926: Wood Ox
11 February 1937 - 30 January 1938: Fire Ox
29 January 1949 - 16 February 1950: Earth Ox
15 February 1961 - 4 February 1962: Metal Ox
3 February 1973 - 22 January 1974: Water Ox
20 February 1985 - 8 February 1986: Wood Ox
7 February 1997 - 28 January 1998: Fire Ox
26 January 2009 - 14 February 2010: Earth Ox
2021 - 2022: Metal Ox
2033 - 2034: Water Ox

The Ox is thought to be the sign of prosperity through fortitude and hard work. The Ox is a power sign, like the Rat, Snake, Dragon, Tiger, and Monkey. They're quite dependable and possess an innate ability to achieve great things. As one might guess, such people are dependable, calm, and modest. Like their animal namesake, the Ox is unswervingly patient, tireless in their work, and capable of enduring any amount of hardship without complaint.

Ox people, according to tradition, need peace and to work through their ideas, and when they have set their mind on something it is hard for them to be convinced otherwise. An Ox person has a very logical mind and is extremely systematic in whatever they do, though they have a tremendous imagination and an unparalleled appreciation for beauty. These people speak little but are extremely intelligent. When necessary, they are articulate and eloquent.

Traditionally, people born under the influence of the Ox are thought to be kind, caring souls, logical, positive, filled with common sense and with their feet firmly planted on the ground. Security is their main preoccupation in life, and they are prepared to toil long and hard in order to provide a warm, comfortable and stable nest for themselves and their families. Strong-minded, stubborn, individualistic, the majority are highly intelligent individuals who don't take kindly to being told what to do.

The Ox, it is thought, works hard, patiently, and methodically, with original intelligence and reflective thought. These people enjoy helping others. Behind this tenacious, laboring, and self-sacrificing exterior lies an active mind.

The Ox, according to tradition, is not extravagant, and a modern interpretation of this is that the thought of living off credit cards or being in debt makes them nervous. The possibility of taking a serious risk could cause the Ox sleepless nights.

Ox people are truthful and sincere, and the idea of wheeling and dealing in a competitive world is distasteful to them. They are rarely driven by the prospect of financial gain. These people are always welcome in small gatherings because of their humble composure and reverent nature towards the host. They are reputed to be the most beautiful of face in the zodiac. They have many friends, who appreciate the fact that the Ox people are wary of new trends, although every now and then they can be encouraged to try something new. People born in the year of the Ox make wonderful parents and teachers of children.

It is important to remember that the Ox people are sociable and relaxed when they feel secure, but occasionally a dark cloud looms over such people and they engage all the trials of the whole world and seek solutions for them.

~The stories of the 12 animals in the Chinese calendar~

2009-01-31T10:55:00.006+08:00

I always found it interesting how did the 12 animals come about and how they were arranged in that particular order. Why are there only 12 in the first place? Why did the rat come first and the ox second? How did the pig manage to squeeze in? Of course, the stories are all legends per say. The most common that I've heard is that the rat tricked the cat during the race, causing the cat to lose and from that onwards, the rat has been said to the the cat's sworn enemy. As far as I know, the ox was included because of its hardworking attributes whereelse the tiger and dragon, most likely their bravery and strength. As for the rest.... I don't really have much idea....

This is what I've got from Wikipedia:

The 12 Zodiac animal signs (生肖 shengxiao) are, in order, the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep (ram or goat), monkey, rooster, dog, and pig. There are many legends to explain the beginning of the zodiac. One of the most popular reads, in summarised form, as follows:

The rat was given the task of inviting the animals to report to the Jade Emperor for a banquet to be selected for the zodiac signs. The cat was a good friend of the rat, but the rat tricked him into believing that the banquet was the next day. The cat slept through the banquet, thinking that it was the next day. When he found out, the cat vowed to be the rat's natural enemy for ages to come.

Another popular legend has it that a race was used to decide the animals to report to the Jade Emperor:

The cat and the rat were the worst swimmers in the animal kingdom. Although bad swimmers, they were both intelligent. They decided that the best and fastest way to cross the river was to hop on the back of the ox. The ox, being a naïve and good-natured animal, agreed to carry them across. However, overcome with a fierce competitiveness, the rat decided that in order to win, it must do something and promptly pushed the cat into the river. Because of this, the cat has never forgiven the rat, and hates the water as well. After the ox had crossed the river, the rat jumped ahead and reached the shore first, and it claimed first place in the competition.

Following closely behind was the strong ox, and it was named the 2nd animal in the zodiac. After the ox, came the tiger, panting, while explaining to the Jade Emperor just how difficult it was to cross the river with the heavy currents pushing it downstream all the time. But with powerful strength, it made to shore and was named the 3rd animal in the cycle.

Suddenly, from a distance came a thumping sound, and the rabbit arrived. It explained how it crossed the river: by jumping from one stone to another in a nimble fashion. Halfway through, it almost lost the race but the rabbit was lucky enough to grab hold of a floating log that later washed him to shore. For that, it became the 4th animal in the zodiac cycle. Coming in 5th place was the dragon, flying. Of course, the Jade Emperor was deeply curious as to why a strong and flying creature such as the dragon should fail to reach first. The mighty dragon explained that he had to stop and make rain to help all the people and creatures of the earth, and therefore he was held back a little. Then, on his way to the finish line, he saw a little helpless rabbit clinging onto a log so he did a good deed and gave a puff of breath to the poor creature so that it could land on the shore. The Jade Emperor was very pleased with the actions of the dragon, and he was added into the zodiac cycle. As soon as he had done so, a galloping sound was heard, and the horse appeared. Hidden on the horse's hoof is the snake, whose sudden appearance gave the horse a fright, thus making it fall back and giving the snake the 6th spot, while the horse placed 7th.

Not long after that, a little distance away, the ram, monkey and rooster came to the shore. These three creatures helped each other to get to where they are. The rooster spotted a raft, and took the other two animals with it. Together, the ram and the monkey cleared the weeds, tugged and pulled and finally got the raft to the shore. Because of their combined efforts, the Emperor was very pleased and promptly named the ram as the 8th creature, the monkey as the 9th, and the rooster the 10th.

The 11th animal is the dog. His explanation for being late—although he was supposed to be the best swimmer amongst the rest—was that he needed a good bath after a long spell, and the fresh water from the river was too big a temptation. For that, he almost didn't make it to finish line. Just as the Jade Emperor was about to call it a day, an oink and squeal was heard from a little pig. The pig got hungry during the race, promptly stopped for a feast and then fell asleep. After the nap, the pig continued the race and was named the 12th and last animal of the zodiac cycle. The cat finished too late (thirteenth) to win any place in the calendar, and vowed to be the enemy of the rat forevermore.

In Buddhism, legend has it that Buddha summoned all of the animals of the earth to come before him before his departure from this earth, but only twelve animals actually came to bid him farewell. To reward the animals who came to him he named a year after each of them, the years were given to them in the order they had arrived.

Interesting indeed...

~恭喜发财, Happy Chinese New Year~

2009-01-29T10:31:00.005+08:00

Wishing a very Happy Chinese 牛 Year to all.

祝福大家过个快乐的牛!

祝小的, 快高长大.

祝少的, 突飞猛进.

祝大的, 事事顺利.

祝长的, 身体健康.

恭喜恭喜!

还有... 可别忘了, 红包拿来!

~Obama's inaugural speech~

2009-01-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

Barack Hussein Obama ~ The leader of tomorrow~

His inaugural speech (CNN copyright) :

(CNN) -- Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th president of the United States and the nation's first African-American president Tuesday. This is a transcript of his prepared speech.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted -- for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act -- not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control -- and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort -- even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed -- why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Inspirational indeed...

Barack Obama, another charismatic leader that the world shall witness.

I look forward to a blissful world under your leadership.

Barack Obama Inaugural Address (Speech) (1/2)

2009-01-21T16:23:00.000+08:00

This video is put up for those who prefer listening to reading his speech. Obama not only possesses a leader's characteristics, he has a sexy deep voice as well. Ooh la la...

Barack Obama Inaugural Address (Speech) (2/2)

2009-01-21T16:22:00.001+08:00

The speech continues...

~Disheartening fire~

2009-01-19T23:25:00.005+08:00

It was by mere coincidence that I stumbled upon a fire brigade which was on the mission of saving houses on fire near my neighbourhood. The truck was initially behind my car with its siren blasting, as if shouting at me very loudly to make way. And so I did. Instead of crossing the bridge and turning right towards the PBSM area to go back home, I decided to give way and go back through the longer way - MPK, passing by ACS and making a u-turn... As I was passing by the Ng Ah Lek ice-cream row of shops, I saw the fire truck coming from my opposite direction. "Weird...," I thought to myself, "it should have gone much further ahead than me as I gave way earlier." The truck then turned left into the Hishamudin school (Islam school). My sis immediately turned her head and saw the bright red blazing fire across. Being the KPC us, I made a u-turn and drove in that area. And there we saw the fire roaring, displaying its vehement claim of who's in charge against the fire brigades.

We parked quite far and had to make our way across the field before I reached my friends house. Hers was opposite the burning houses. There I saw a devastated ex-classmate, sitting stunned on the chair, with two cute and fat rabbits in two cages respectively. When I went into my friend's house, I saw her mom with two other ladies - one sobbing her heart out (3rd house owner a.k.a main victim) and another comforting her (2nd house owner, in which her house was burning as well).

According to my friend's mom, she said that the initiating fire came from the 3rd house's living room. The alcohol reserved for CNY in the house contributed to the speed of the fire spreading. The uncontrollable fire then made its way to the roof of the 2nd and 4th house. I could hear the sound of ceilling crashing down and see sparks of fire flew high in the air. Looking at the fire, I felt helpless and deeply disheartened by the saddening event that befell the unfortunate families; whatmore, CNY is just around the corner. Despite the gloominess of the event, I for once, was proud of our very own fire brigade who were trying their very best to put out the fire. The fire did run wild a few times during the night as it threatened to enlarge its conquest towards the 1st and 5th house but the fire brigade managed to hold it down after much struggle.

I left before the fire was put out entirely but it was already under control by then. I almost weld up in tears when I hugged my ex-classmate, trying to comfort her, yet not knowing what words to say as any words of comfort would be to no avail at that time. All I could offer was a hug; a wordless emotional support...

Front view: Bigger fire on the roof of the 3rd house. Smaller fire making its way towards the 1st house. 2nd house was still burning. The fire was more obvious from the back lane.

Picture taken when the fire suddenly got bigger. I could hear the fireman standing on the roof nearby the fire shouted in a shock.

Come to think about it, I should've taken a short video to provide a clearer description/ preview of the incident...

By the end of the night, I was thinking about what I would have taken from the house if such an unfortunate event were to hit me. Initially, all I thought of was probably hc's gift which I had kept in a box in my room. IC etc. would all be in my bag already, so all I need to do is to grab that bag that's all. Then, it hit me! How could I have not thought about it?! The other main thing that I would grab would be my dearest dog - Latte...

What would my sis take? Her laptop, no doubt...

What would you have thought about and what would you take in that split second?

~Ethics in counseling~

2009-01-17T09:18:00.002+08:00

It is down and outright unethical for counselors to meet their needs through their clients; be it their need is to be depended upon or to get a sense of mastery out of their clients. Some may even be a counselor just to fulfill their needs of being loved or needed by another. The essence is that counselors should be aware of their motif when it comes to counseling practice.

What is/are my motive(s) to practice counseling?

Maybe a better question for me to ponder would be: Why am I in counseling in the first place?

Truthfully... I don't really have a concrete answer myself. I took up counseling because that was one of the Masters course available in English in Malaysia. I could have easily chosen the courses provided by the public university but... call me bias (despite learning that one should be open and culturally sensitive), they were not my cup of tea. Now, there's another course - Masters in Clinical Psych available in HELP which very much tickles my interest but... it is no longer in the realm of my choices. Not only am I on the verge of finishing my current course, it maybe too hard a course for me to keep up with though undeniably, I think I would love it more than counseling. Counseling is to certain extent too ambiguous and too vague which is not to my liking whereas Clinical psych tend to provide more objective answers. Of course, both are advantageous when it involves the helping profession; I would say it's a matter of perspective.

Anyways, putting that aside, am I going to be potentially at risk at meeting my own needs through my clients? This thought came to my mind last two days when I stumbled upon one of the most interesting cases. It was my first experience with a student who totally rejected me. I wasn't even able to start class as he sat on the sofa, in the same position, for almost 2 whole hours. That's how determined he was, sending the message that he DID NOT want tuition. The thing was that I didn't even feel like withdrawing. I got even more excited and intrigued by the boy's reaction. To me, it was a good opportunity for me to practice my counseling skills and if I could really break the boy, it would definitely boost my confidence when it comes to practicum semester. Now, in relation to my self-reflection - Why am I practicing counseling? Is it to meet my needs of self-mastery? Or am I interested in the welfare of the boy? Maybe... Maybe not...

~My first bump~

2009-01-17T09:08:00.003+08:00

Had my first ever bump on Monday (12/01/09)... while I was reversing my car. I've always thought that I was quite competent when it comes to my car-reversing skills but I guess not. I'm not really sure what happened that day as it happened too fast for me to even analyse in the first place. I just remember reversing and by the time I realised that there was a fat round short stone vase at the back of my car, it was a little too late for me to avoid the minor accident; despite my trying to step on the brake as much as possible. Plus, there was sand at the crime scene and that was the other culprit that contributed to the unfortunate bump. My bumper was kinda hit out of position, as in it bent outward and it pressed against the rubber piece behind my tyre which eventually caused it to brushed against the tyre. I had to endure the noisiness all the way from Bangsar back to Klang after class.

This is a picture of my bumper AFTER I got it fixed. The mechanic kindly helped me to reposition my bumper and he did mention that there were tiny dents and bents inside, of course not to mention the scratches. Huhu...

Not the best event ever.

Again, my first bump...

~The other pressie~

2009-01-17T08:47:00.004+08:00

How many would actually believe if I were to say that this was made and given by hc?

I doubt... Too girlie? No? Anyway, it's probably not the best decorated mushrooms on earth but it did take me quite some effort to get it done, especially when it comes to dealing with the tiny air balls which were annoying to a certain extent.

HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY, DEAR!

~Pressie I~

2009-01-10T01:45:00.002+08:00

One of my pressies for him for our anniversary:

A collection of our pics. Was done in a rush. Wished I had more pictures in hand. These are all after I came back from the States.

~Six going on seven~

2009-01-06T17:19:00.007+08:00

Happy anniversary!

Was thinking about the "history" of our relationship - how we got to know each other and how we built our relationship from scratch. We've come a long way; The road was definitely not easy on us...

Of all the obstacles that we've been through, I would say that my year in US was the toughest year ever for us. We went through various conflicts and turmoils in that one year itself. Thank you dear for holding on so tightly and never letting go. If not for you, we would never have the many years ahead.

There will be many more challenges in the future and I don't know how strong we will stand. As we all know, nothing is absolute in this world. Nonetheless, nothing is impossible either. I believe that we will be able to make it through and work towards our future together.

Let's be lovey dovey always...

Again... I'm drowning in the midst of love...

~Random~

2009-01-05T17:53:00.008+08:00

30/12/08 - Shopping at Bangsar with Suan and Sze.

Blue clubbing dress in Poppi.

At Zara.

3 - 4/01/09 - Balik Kampung.

Billy and grandma heating up banana leaves for CNY's kuih bakul.

My grandma, the expert. Was once on TV3 for her expertise on Kuih Bakul.

Looks like she's having fun but trust me, it's tough job.

5/01/09 - New haircut.

Got a new haircut at LEON. Not much of a difference eh? Almost curled my hair but decided not to in the end.

~Cruising on SuperStar Libra... Part II~

2009-01-05T15:28:00.020+08:00

Day 3 (23/12/08) - On Libra

A whole day spent on the ship. Sun-bathing day! Just right after breakfast, we immediately head to the pool deck - my sis clad in her new bikini and dress and my mom in her long-time unworn swimsuit and my beach sarong.

Does my mom's colorful sarong look familiar? Got it when I went for a holiday with hc in Langkawi. My sis's bikini was bought from Phuket and it was darn cheap, just about 300 Baht. I would have gotten one if I didn't already have.

My younger bro (in brown) participated in a mini marathon along with other younger kids.

The dumpling making demonstration, where my bro took the advantage to show off some of his culinary skills. Of course, he's not in the picture. Those are my mom's friend, with her daughter and mother. And beside is the Guest Service Crew (I don't think this is how they call it) who is incharge of entertainment and all sorts - Harry from India.

Once the sun got too bright that it started to burn my skin, I suggested that we participate in their indoor games. And we moved on to playing Cluedo in our cabin. It was a slow moving game because thanks to my smart bro, we had to play it the tough way. It took forever for just 1 game to end, approximately 30 minutes or so. I knew something was amiss and only did I realize in the end that we were not playing it according to how it should have been played. Time passed and we went back to the pool deck to have tea. The cookies and cakes were good... Immediately after that, we had to rush back to our cabins to prepare for the night's ever important GALA DINNER with the Captain. We so wanted Western dinner but... we ended up eating a Chinese banquet dinner... as we tagged the booking along with other friends of my dad - very Chinese-oriented family. Well, what's done has been done and it was too late for us to change anyway...

Prior to dinner, the Captain gave the guests a warm welcome speech in the lounge and he later introduced the head of each department. The dinner was meant to be a token of appreciation for the crews serving us on the ship. They even served champagne in the reception.

My sis and I in the Chinese restaurant , Ocean's Palace. Camwhoring, as usual...

Studio photo lookalike.

And another... But my face looked flat, like a pancake.

The first dish.

We didn't take pictures of other dishes as we were busy eating. Truthfully, the food was just "ma ma tae". They even had a small presentation towards the end of the dinner, sort of like an introduction to their kitchen crews. After dinner, we went to the lounge to watch that night's performance "Tropicalia", performed by the same bunch at the pool deck. There was a game show before the dance called the "Newly wed, not so newly wed couple" where they invited three different couples - one just married about 20 days, 2nd about 8 years and 3rd, 50 years! They asked questions regarding their partners e.g. sound of their fart, ex-gf, people they hate in the family etc. It was a fun game as the participants were sporting and the audience participated along. The night ended with the Tropicalia dance. I just couldn't take my eyes off that blonde hunk. Not only was he good in dancing, he was the main character in the performance. An instant eye catcher!

There was a special performance that night entitled The Las Vegas Topless Show - Night on Broadway, meaning the dancers dance topless. It catered only to 18 years old and above and the tickets were not cheap - 30 or 40 Sing per person. Curious, we decided to watch it... No pictures or videos were allowed to be taken. At the end of the show, I turned and asked my mom, "What was the objective of the show?" I would say that I wasn't their target audience or maybe I just didn't know how to appreciate their performance. To me, it was just plain dancing by topless girls and guys. Besides their professionalism, I don't see other things worthy of watching. For those of you who may stumble upon this show in the future, do think twice...

Day 4 (24/12/08) - Disembarking in Singapore.

We had to wake up darn early as the disembark time was 8 - 9am. Plus, we had to get our passports and all from the crew. There weren't much places that we could go at that hour. So we decided to go to Gu Chia Zhui/ Ngau Che Kok, in other words, Chinatown. It was raining and without much thought, we just took on a cab and head to our destination. Many shops were still closed. We couldn't do much except to look around in luggage shops and some souvenir shops, selling cheap watches, magnets, paper holder and even CNY decoration ornaments. My mom bought a whole lot of angpau packets from one of the shops. She was worried that Malaysia would run out of red packets. Haha... My dad was interested in buying luggage; I have no idea why. My two brothers bought a bagpack each. It seemed that it was cheaper to buy in Singapore. And... the most surprising thing was that... My dad was super duper eager to buy Wii. After a quite disappointing visit to Chinatown (too early!), we headed towards Bugis Street, the Petaling Street of Singapore. This time we took the ever convenient MRT. Despite my dad being very occupied with his work (on the phone almost the whole time) , he tagged along, walking around with us as we struggled to find our way.

Posing in the MRT. People could easily identify us as tourists.

In Bugis Junction.

Our next destination was Orchard Road. It wasn't as exciting because of the timing; it was daylight. Orchard looked ordinary and we didn't have the chance to appreciate its famous decorations and lighting. We just walked around the streets, taking picture of every decoration we saw, passing by 5 star hotels such as Hyatt and Hilton. By then, my dad's leg was beginning to ache and he could no longer walk as much anymore. The initial plan was for us to have lunch in Geylang, in the famous soya bean & yew cha kuei shop but considering that it peak hour, we gave up that notion. I was trying to find the food court that we had once eaten there before but it somehow just vanished. We searched high and low but it just never came into view. In the midst of the food court quest, we found a shop which sold Wii for 300Sing dollar, with one remote control only! No warranty, no games installed, no 2nd remote control. It was a very tempting offer but we declined anyways because it wasn't worth it with the tax and the risk of buying in another land; whatmore, without warranty! And that marked the end of our trip in Singapore...

Decorations in Orchard.

I think this was in front of Hyatt, or maybe Hilton.

Back in the ship, we prepared for Christmas Eve dinner. We were determined to dine in Four Seasons. Arriving at 6.10pm, we were taken aback when we saw the queue was as long as from my kitchen to my front door. How could we have forgotten?! The Singaporeans just embarked today! Their super kiasu-ness was really quite a scene and... rather unbearable...

Lucky for us, we managed to get a place.

Appetizer: Soft shell crab salad.

One of the main courses: Beef Wellington.

Salmon with honey mustard and mash potato.

Desert: Chocolate Log.

Sugar Santa Clauses.

After dinner was the Eve party at the pool deck. Many people gathered there for countdown including the crews. A few performances here and there.

By the Dance group with members from Brazil and Belaraus.

My hunk! Tall and handsome and darn good in dancing!

Entertainment crews. The corner girl is a Japanese. The rest are mainly from Phillipines.

Singer from Twice as Nice (Red top). And the other is the Crew Director.

Our Captain from Sweden.

The friendly Goldilicious. Remember the he-she performance. He's the one in gold.

Really a very friendly person.

After the pool party ended, my bro "met" an angmoh gal who called him to continue the party in Boomers Disco. We tagged along. There were other lads who were there as well. Most were underage. Knowing me who has never stepped into a club before, it was really not a familiar environment - dancing on the dance floor (soooo not my thing!), drinking alcohol (super a lot!) etc. My bro even asked me was I dancing Latin?! That's like the only dance that I know; what did you expect?! When the disco was closing at 2am, the young lads playfully harrassed the DJ but they gave in in the end and decided to continue their gathering at the pool deck. Only my elder bro went. I suppose he was hoping to get laid. Haha............ But.... his dream didn't come true. He was back sleeping at the cabin by morning.

A picture of our dressing table on the last night on ship.

Day 5 (25/12/08) - Checking out from Libra.

We checked out after breakfast and that marked the end of our cruise. Heard that they were selling Libra. I suppose I'll never have the chance to board it again.... Ciao!

Goodbye and farewell...

~Welcoming 2009~

2009-01-01T22:34:00.002+08:00

Let's give a round of applause for the arrival of Yang Amat Berhormat Year 2009!

As much as I am unprepared for 2009, I am not given the choice to reject its arrival. So, whether I like it or not, I have to embrace the passing of time. It feels like as if it was just yesterday when I celebrated the arrival of year 2008 and now it's already the year after. How I wish my course would go by that fast. I still have another 1 year and 3 mths to go before I graduate from my Masters and come out a counselor. I guess the speed of time is of a subjective opinion. Time passes faster when one does not notice its presence and it slows down when one pays too much attention to its presence. How ironic...

Instead of going for countdowns in Sungei Wang, The Curve, or even AEON Bukit Tinggi, I chose to countdown in the one state where celebration is not allowed - none other than Seremban, in the state of Minangkabau, Negeri Sembilan, where the honorable Yang Dipertua just passed away a few days ago. No fireworks, no cinema, no bars... Almost zero entertainment! So, what did we do? We ended up having an alcoholic party in one of hc's friend's house with about 30 people drinking a mixture of tequila, vodka, guiness gold, coke, sprite etc. It is indeed very enjoyable to watch people's behavior and reaction as I saw them transform from totally conscious to gradual arousal to a little tipsy, then to silence and dizziness and even to the extent of being sober.

2009, you intruded without my permission; without even asking whether I was prepared for your arrival. But here you are now and I have to forcefully accept your presence... Then again, I probably am the way I am now because I feel that I have let 2008 passed by insignificantly. I feel like as if I let it come and go and I did not achieve much through out the year. And 2008 was somewhat a rough year for me as well - career ups and downs, electronic devices breaking down, dengue fever etc.

The implication?

Live 2009 to the fullest!

2009's resolution?

Reduce my procrastination!

A kind reminder: Time and tide waits for no man/woman.

~Cruising on SuperStar Libra... Part I~

2008-12-29T10:26:00.008+08:00

Day 1 - Checking in the ship.

The trip began on the 21st of Dec, 2008 when we checked in the ship at about 11.30am. By then, many had already boarded the ship, including my parents friends who were on another tour in the ship as well.

Our first meal was in the Ocean's Palace with a whole set meal and it was filling indeed. Service was no doubt up to par. And the food did, to a certain extent, live up to its expectation. After that, we explored the ship in and out and turned it upside down.

The pool deck.

Us posing at the back of the ship.

And another one.

The dancers performing at the pool deck. There's this really cute guy among them, like really a hunk! And I love to see him dancing.

Our cabin was small, or should I say that all cabins were meant to be small to fit in the number of people on board. Libra could easily take on almost 1,500 guests and about 700++ crew members. So, that's how big the ship was. But... despite the size, it was also that small that we could easily stumble upon the same people on board, including those we know and those that we dislike. Somehow, we just continuously bumped into one another; it could be the restaurant, the pool, the casino or even the performance lounge.

This is the girls' room. The boys' room was next door. I slept on the top bunk. One heck of a messy room. Keep in mind that this was the last night on the ship.

We planned to have dinner in Four Seasons (Western) on the first night but much to our dismay, the queue was ever so long and we had to wait for the second session at 8.30pm. My sis and bro started arguing about how we were late and how we were gonna miss the Bingo game. Rather pathetic, I would say! Well, for those of you who know me, you will understand that I have a certain degree of biasness towards my bro and at that time, it seemed like he was devastated that we might not be able to play bingo and that we would miss out the big jackpot - $7,000 (Sing Dollar). Anyways, we changed the venue to another restaurant near the pool deck - Mariner's Buffet. And not only did we manage to catch Bingo on time, we also had the opportunity to watch "Twice as Nice" in action. The group consists of a man and a woman who are performers in Las Vegas. Whatmore, the guy is actually Diana Ross's brother! Ain't that cool! Their singing was of course, unquestionable. Not to mention their size as well... Oops!

Casino was the next destination but my younger bro was not allowed to enter because it catered only to 18 yrs old and above. In order to not ditch my younger bro, we all decided to leave the casino. The other bro of mine actually changed 100 Sing tokens already and was on the verge of "playing" but thanks to my mom, he was dragged out of the casino. He was trying to convince my mom that he had the touch that day. What touch? The Midas Touch?! Haha...

So, we ended the night playing pictionary... which made me realize what a bad artist my younger bro was. His drawn humans looked just like bloated balloons! Haha...

Day 2 - Disembarking in Phuket.

On our way to Phuket. Yay!

The Black Pearl lookalike.

Phuket was suppose to be fun. Again, I emphasize - Phuket was suppose to be fun! But it turned out negligable. Families tagged along and we had to wait for one another. We deliberately woke up earlier for breakfast but some were later than us. By the time we left, it was already 1pm and we had to come back by 5.30pm! We were stuck with the elderlies and were in the van almost half the time when we only had less than 6 hours off shore. The drivers who had a pack with the locals took us to places where they can earn their commission such as the Monkey School, shooting range, honey farm, cashew nuts shop and the famous Wang Tualang for its jewellery. My younger bro was complaining and mumbling and questioning about how we were wasting our time, which annoyed us even more. Low EQ! Our mission to go for a massage, hairbread (if that's how it's spelled), shopping were all gone! Except for the last hour when we were back at the beach. We should have just stayed at the beach cos there were lots of stalls and shops and massage parlours around. What a waste of the trip! Then again, the uncles and aunts wouldn't be able to take such a tiring walk around and they wouldn't be enjoying... I wanted to get a pair of surf pants but they just wouldn't reduce the price. They started calling at 550Baht and I wanted to buy it only at 200Baht. They only gave me till 250Baht. Not that I'm kiam siap or anything. My sis managed to buy a long surf pants in Langkawi for RM25 and they were selling me a short surf pants at the same price. Of course I wouldn't heed! And I wasn't desperate for one either.

Back on the ship, we rushed for dinner. We were adamant. We wanted to have our dinner in Four Seasons by hook or by crook. And so, we did.

My lamb leg. Tender and juicy!

I think this was chicken with cheese plus other stuff.

Fish with cream sauce.

This was, I think, some vegetarian pasta.

Desert - Chocolate Moist Cake.

We were late for the crew's performance due to our choice of second session dinner. I think we missed a whole lot. By the time we reached, it was already the second last performance of the night which was the "Macho man" song with the male crews wearing firemen uniforms and striping half naked to show how macho they were. The last performance was an interesting one. The ever favorite lady-men. They were hot and darn, they can dance! Shaking their ass and all and they were all wearing tongs! Salute them for their professionalism!

There was Who Wants To Be A Millionaire after the performance but the game show lacked suspense and it looked a little fake, as in staged.

And we ended the night playing Family Twister.

To be continued...

~Back from cruise~

2008-12-25T22:22:00.004+08:00

Had just returned from a family trip on the cruise. Indeed, an amazing and fulfilling experience.

Too tired to blog about it now. Will soon, once the pictures are uploaded.

Till then...

~Certified~

2008-12-25T22:12:00.004+08:00

My 4 1/2-year-old brick has finally been certified... broken!

The needle reading the hard disk is unable to provide its service anymore.

And there goes all my documents stored in my hard disk...

We have gone through various ups and downs and you have served me well, my Dell 1600m...

Thank you...

~Chan Ka Hing's married~

2008-12-17T11:54:00.004+08:00

Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. Chan on their wedding held last Saturday. May you be blessed with plenty of love and a smooth sailing ahead.

That was my first experience in a full Christian wedding. Everything was in English and there were speeches from the bridesmaid, best man, both parents and of course, the couple of the night. The atmosphere was filled with love, with the dim lights and words of thankfulness and blessings being spread around the whole night.

The food was actually not bad, for a hotel served dinner. I actually ate from the first till the last dish. Probably the only flaw was the not so fresh prawn which took us forever to peel the skin! The desert was an interesting one - a marshmallow coconut-coated jelly like thing. Haha... Not easy to describe and none on my table could figure out what that desert was.

Huey and her guy were amazing. They performed on stage - she on the keyboard and him with a saxophone-clarinet look alike. It was such a mesmerizing moment when he blew the first song, "When I fall in love". That was like the super romantic moment on the night... At that time, my table was buzzing with the idea of pursuing guys with musical talents, be it saxophone, violin, piano or even trumpet! Mr. Chan didn't lose out either. He was romantic indeed when he went up stage to sing his marriage proposal song (with Huey and her guy as music accompaniment). During his second song (You are my sunshine), he brought his bride to the stage and one person holding a sunflower from each table lined up to present her with the long, bright-coloured sunflower. She was surprised all right! Of course, it was planned before hand and his friends had passed the flowers around without her knowing. Credits to Mr. Chan for being a romantic...

Lastly, it was more of our reunion than a wedding that we were attending. We finally got to meet most of our Bemidji friends after a whole two years. It was fun to see everyone, how they have changed, appearance wise; attitude and behaviour, not so much - still as 38 as ever! Haha... We had fun sitting on the same table, making probably the most noise when the hall was quiet. Well, that's the normal us. I'd rather we be noisy than quietly awkward. Looking forward to seeing them again.

that's us!

For details about their wedding, click on this link: kahing & juli's wedding.

~Super Crazy J-Card Day~

2008-12-14T17:39:00.003+08:00

Went to my second J-Card day on last Wednesday. Have joined the crowd once in BBK Jusco and this time, I decided to blend in with the crowd again despite my experience of being suffocated before. I reached AEON Bukit Tinggi about 9.30am with Hw and his girl. We even saw an ambulance parked outside - precaution for black-out incidents. That was the anticipation of how crowded the place was going to be.

At first glance, it was just like any other day and I was taking my own sweet time looking at the one lingerie that I've been eyeing so long. To my utmost disappointment, the thing that brought me to JJ was NOT ON SALE (ON J-CARD DAY) as it was an agent controlled item. So, I was left with the mission of claiming my mom and sister's lingerie and buying my brother's clothes. Ky was there with me at the lingerie booth, claiming her package as well. My mom and sister had booked theirs two days ago and their number was E11 while Ky's was Z stg. Many had also booked theirs days earlier and the letters went from A-Z! Can u imagine the stack of plastic bags? They even seggregrated the letters to different corners e.g. A-J, J-S, S-Z (something like that) and all along with their list of numbers. The number of people entering Jusco started to increase. By 11am, the whole place was a mess and I was gasping for air. There were slow crawls everywhere with trolleys blocking the way. The line for the changing rooms were long; the cashier lines were even longer! You can hear people shouting to one another from two far corners and mothers trying to get their children to try on as many clothes as possible, without even going into the changing room. Havoc was the only word to describe the situation...

I followed Ky to claim another package of her sister's in one of the booths. It seemed that almost every booth had its own booking station. "Smarter" people had come earlier to test and all they have to do was to pay on that day to obtain the RM10 voucher (every RM100 receipt to exchange for RM10 voucher).

The situation got worse with time. More and more people were joining in the crowd despite the congestion. What made things worse was the presence of inconsiderate shoppers who hogged the whole walking path to themselves with their trolleys, which caused the slow crawl behind. They were "patiently" waiting for their family members/ friends who were paying at the cashier without realizing that they were blocking the path. How "cooperative" of them to add on the joyous moment of shopping with the bunch of the crowd!

I managed to survive the messiness of the situation and bought two tops for my brother. After that, I quit and was waiting outside for Hw and Ky to finish theirs. Btw, Ky's sister looks just like a photostated version of her! Darn alike!

My next stop was downstairs - the room's corner (e.g. curtain, linen, bedsheet). It was much much more packed that it was on the second floor! I only managed to stay in the crowd for no more than 10 minutes!

I spent the whole day hanging out with Hw and Ky and their friends who were all my "juniors". However, it did not make me feel young at all which on the contrary, I felt even older looking at them, all youthful and free and their lives only revolves around going to university and studying. And... it was like their reunion in Jusco. Everywhere they went, there was just someone that they knew, be it ex-classmates, school friends, college friends, uncles, aunts etc. There I was wondering where were my friends? I would say that 90% of people my age group would be working at that hour and I was spending time shopping with people 2-3 years younger than me.

It was indeed a tough day. Even lunch was a problem. Almost all restaurants were fullhouse. My legs were aching. The crowd did not even lessen one bit (maybe a bit, for those who took half day leave).

I reached home about 5pm. It was the longest time that I had ever spent in AEON Bukit Tinggi - a whole 8 hours or so. And what did I buy? Lingerie (for my mom, sis and me), T-shirts for my younger brother and some grooming accesories from SASA. So, what was I thinking, participating in J-Card day and ended up hardly buying anything? No worries. I wasn't the only one. Hw bought lesser than me. Haha... His most lucrative buy would most probably be his jeans and his free umbrella, thanks to his friends who lined up for quite some time (darn long line! Free umbrella, duh!) and had to endure the scolding by aunties behind them for a minor misunderstanding...

Definitely a day to remember...

~Outing with May and Deb~

2008-12-12T10:10:00.003+08:00

Tuesday was a rather memorable day as I spent almost the whole day out with May and Deb. Initially May suggested that we (Deb and I) go to her house about 7++ in the morning. Of course, I declined the idea flat. Going to her house at that time would mean that I would need to wake up about 6am and leave my house by 6.50am, according to Deb, to avoid the horrible jam near my house.

So, we fetched May about 9.30am at Std Chartered Bank (she was in KWSP) and left for dim sum breakfast nearby her house. Turned out the dim sum(s) weren't as tasty and both of them had a pack of trying to stuff down every single piece of food on the table down my throat. Service at the place was bad - not that the restaurant was crowded with people. It took them centuries to serve the tea and our chee cheong fun which didn't taste very good either. I had to swallow the prawn dim sum cos May claims that she was trying to control her cholesterol level.While eating halfway, May was suddenly bugged by people from her office and she had to leave the table for quite some time.

From there we left to May's house for her to send the needed document over to her workplace. Although we only stayed for a little while in her house, it was good enough for us to cause some noise pollution, with Deb and I listening to songs from the phone and us laughing our butts off about some ridiculous nonsense that were mentioned along the conversation. Then, as the driver, the next stop was Hong Leong Bank. We just couldn't get our minds off thinking about the "Manager" in the bank. Our eyes were searching high and low and the person just never came into view. Probably she happens to work in the "higher class" department and we were nowhere near there. At one point, we were actually thinking of sneaking into the other building or to ask the people around in the bank, but coming to think about it, why the trouble? And so we closed the subject.

We managed to catch a movie, "Twilight", and we watched it with May's two cousins. They initially thought that they were watching Madagascar 2 - from a animal cartoon to a vampire movie. Haha... Trying to withhold my biased perception towards the movie, I realized that it wasn't as bad as what I've heard from critics. It's true that the vampires were a little tooooo pale and my so-called "Cedric Diggory" wasn't as cute as he used to be anym0re. Other than that, the movie was all in all a quite good one. I heard that it was suitable for those who loved watching taiwanese lovey dovey tv series but I think it's far from that. I know they all end with "happily ever after" and there's no such thing as perfect love or forbidden love but sometimes, we just need to add some creativity and imagination into our lives; to add some spice into our hell-like lives. One thing though, I think the climax fighting part was a bit too short. He fought the bad guy and the family arrived in time to kill and burn the bad guy. Sounds too easy...

After the movie, we went to Secret Recipe for tea and we had 3 pieces of different chocolaty cake. No wonder, I haven't been able to unload my rectum for the past few days. Haha... Time was running short and May had to return home to pack her stuff as she was leaving for Singapore that night. She looked soooo reluctant to leave both of us when I sent her home. Let's face it, this is the life of working people. No more the hang around and have fun all the time anymore. We miss the old times...

Guess what? I didn't go home after that. I spent my time in Deb's house from 5pm all the way to 7.30pm, until her boyfriend came over to fetch out to dinner. We just chatted non stop for the whole 2 hours, from the good old days to the future of naming our kids. Haha... I was trying to avoid having some hard argument with Wai Khuen but he just had to push the button anyway. Deb had to stop us at one point to end the noise pollution. Well, instead of an argument, I would put it as an intellectual exchange of opinion. Haha...

And that was how the whole day turned out to be. Rather meaningful day, don't you think?

p/s - Our group's pupus-ing!!! How can we let it grow to how it was once upon a time?

~Continuous cash flowing...out~

2008-12-07T18:29:00.004+08:00

Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Splurging on clothes seems to be the one thing that I've been doing for the past 2-3 days.

I wasn't the only one who splurged. Hc, his brother and his parents were also shopping for CNY in 1U today. Liked the white shorts that he bought in PA. I had no idea what he took in to try but that was the first thing that caught my attention when he came out from the changing room. I felt like I was some fashion consultant today, giving a little bit of my opinion here and there. Haha...

I finally found my jeans today. My quest for jeans didn't come by easy. It's slightly different from my previous jeans. Instead of a dark coloured one, I chose a lighter colour jeans which is not very me. I'm very into dark coloured jeans and today I just took the opposite stance. It wasn't a tough decision though. I looked nice in it, without doubt. It was between the one I own now or the other darker colour jeans which is of a different style. The funny part was I was in the changing room with two jeans in hand. When I was testing the first, the size wasn't right and the guy got me another size. So, there were 3 pairs of jeans in the changing room. I was wearing another pair when I opened the door to show Hc. There was a salesgirl nearby who was keeping an eye on things and giving a comment or two to customers in the changing room. She saw that I had a few jeans hung in my room that she misunderstood I took more jeans to try than allowed when in truth, it looked more like a pile due to the jeans material and their look alike colours. She volunteered to clear unsuitable jeans in my room and was on the verge of taking one of it which was mine (the originally worn). I had to stop her from taking away my pants! Haha! After testing a few, I was left with two - one darker and the other lighter. Hc has been trying to convince me that light coloured jeans can look equally as nice; of course, he left the decision to me. The salesgirl who almost took my pants away just added one comment - "the colour that you tried on looks the same as the one that you own". My choice was apparent by then - the fitting of the jeans, Hc's taste and the girl's comment made it an easy choice.

It was one heck of a tiring day. Have been waking up earlier than usual for the past few days. Actually I'm quite glad that I woke up earlier. At least I wouldn't be wasting half my day in bed. I should maintain this healthy biological rhythm of mine!

P/s - Dear Khw, I spend when I think it's necessary/ worth it. I'm not that kiam siap, mind u. Haha...

~Shopping, shopping, shopping~

2008-12-07T00:58:00.005+08:00

It's the season for shopping... La la la la la la la la, fa la la la la, la la la la... (Christmas carol)

I spent my Friday shopping with my mom and sis from 2pm till 5pm around the Bayu Perdana boutique area. Managed to get myself another 2 tops from there. It was only after I reached home that I realized I have already bought more than enough tops for CNY. Well, what's done is long gone and over with - just live with it. Haha...

Went with boyfriend to Mid Valley today to - first, meet up with his friend who returned from The States; second, his CNY shopping and mine (bottom ONLY, if any). Really liked the Christmas decoration in MV - so heart-warming and touching and loving and sweet and colourful!
He didn't manage to finish shopping as expected as he spent too much time contemplating with his friends, spending almost an hour in Nike deciding whether to get a birthday present for another friend. And of course, we had an almost 2-hour lunch in Pasta Zanmai with their reunion. As usual their conversation involved medical jargon and there I was, the one left out, trying to blend in with the crowd as much as possible. I know I sound like the victim. I mean I am to a certain extent but they're really nice people and it's good to practice listening once in a while. I don't have to always be the centre of attention. Haha...

Pasta Zanmai is totally recommended. Ordered their "Soft shell crab spaghetti with sesame sauce" and it turned delicious! At first, I was quite apprehensive when I saw the "sesame sauce" in the menu, wondering what it would taste like - sweet, sour, salty, bitter?! Anyways, I was really into soft shell crab and the waitress added that the sesame sauce dishes were their all time favorites and was I glad that I made the right choice! Truthfully I don't really know how to describe the sauce as well (the waitress had trouble answering when I asked her what the sauce taste like) but it's definitely worth a try. A sumptuous meal indeed! *with price ranging from rm20 to rm30 perperson*

I'm currently in the hunt for a pair of jeans and have not found one that I would label as "to die for" yet. It's either the price is too high or the cutting's off, as in a size smaller would be tight around my thighs and a size bigger would be loose around my waist. Is the problem with my body shape or the cutting? After all, we're talking about Levi's here.

It's Ok. I'm not in a rush. What's mine will eventually be mine.

Just to add. I've decided to decline the lecturer offer and instead, focus on my studies first. I know opportunity doesn't knock at my door twice but I'm optimistic about my future. Probably I'm not fated to work in HELP (I've declined their offer the third/ fourth time including this) .Even if I miss this chance, there'll definitely be other chances for me to take next time. It's never too late. Again, what's mine will eventually be mine.

~Eureka~

2008-12-05T00:32:00.002+08:00

Weeeeeee........................................................................... I'm done for the semester!

Couldn't help smiling when I handed my paper to the invigilator. End of my endless stream of nothing but studying and resting in between. Hoorah!

But today certainly didn't come by easy.

It took about an hour and a half to reach HELP today evening. Usually it takes only about 45 minutes. I got stuck in jam all the way before Eastin. It was a darn slow crawl even until I managed to cut out at the traffic light going towards my college. From what I heard through the traffic report on radio, there was a landslide somewhere around Jln Maarof and Jln Duta and that was the deadly cause to the horrible jam. I was smart enough to use the way through the housing area to reach the parking area but Chyun Fang was blocked at the traffic light and she had to park somewhere further. Lucky for her and another classmate, I provided transport for them to their vehicles after the paper. The jam was really really bad that police had to control the traffic, blocking drivers from going towards the landslide area. I don't know how well that worked in making the traffic smoother but it was one hell of a havoc...

It's none of my concern anymore. I sleeping already....

Tomorrow will be a bliss!

~Just a little bit more~

2008-11-30T14:25:00.004+08:00

I'm left with the exam papers on the coming Wednesday and Thursday before I can shout Eureka! Not that it's my last semester or that I'm graduating, but it definitely would be the end of my current semester. Then again, I didn't suffer this semester as much as I did with the previous as there are only two subjects now. Taking three subjects was like hell to me. There was hardly any time to rest; the assignments just continued pouring in and I didn't even have time to slow down and enjoy the learning process.

I'm suppose to be studying for my exams but here I am, blogging about how I'm suppose to be studying. Haha... I guess with my time flexibility, it really has given me the bite of getting more lazy than I was before, procrastinating even more because I know that I have more time in hand than my fellow classmates. This is a bad bad sign. I should be improving in my time management with past experience but I don't seem to be taking in the lessons too well, am I? This could be a pending New Year resolution for me. Hehe...

Dec is gonna be a sucky month for me although it's gonna be a relaxing one as I'm gonna be on 3 weeks break. Why the sucky-ness? Cos it's filled with holidays and my students are declaring their own holidays as well, not to mention that I have to call off a whole week for a cruise trip with my family. Well, this would simply mean that I won't be earning sufficient $$$ especially when I spend for Christmas and my holiday trip - plus with CNY around the corner, I'm definitely not gonna be saving any penny possible. Life's tough all right...

BUT... I'm happy that Suan is coming back and Deb's finished with her course. I'm looking forward to being 38 with her and the rest of the gang, just like the old times...

Just a small note here:

To the "him", I really appreciate yesterday's discussion. It was indeed a meaningful and aspirational one. It will definitely set me into my thinking mode again but the input is precious nonetheless. Thanks for always being by my side whenever I need your support. Glad that you're apart of my life. Loving you...

~What do I want?~

2008-11-28T12:58:00.006+08:00

In my last post, I mentioned that I was offered a lecturer position to teach general psychology subjects in HELP's very own Matriculation Program. I sent in my CV anyways despite not having made a decision. And now I have an interview scheduled after my exams next week.

My head is filled with questions. I'm kinda anxious and yet excited. I seriously have no idea if this is the step that I want to take.

I mean.. I know I enjoy teaching but lecturing is a totally different experience. And that would also mean that I'll be back to my regular 9-5 working hours. The good will be that I'm gonna have a stable pay and I would say it's a good stepping stone in my teaching career. I don't have to worry about student's cancelling classes and counting the pay that I get every month... However, there are things that I'm gonna have to give up now for that job, the biggest thing being my time flexibility. Location is not a big problem although I'll need to wake up very early and come back late to avoid the jam, not to mention the parking and toll fee. But it's also an advantage cos I'll be able to attend class right after I finish work. As I mentioned, the biggest disadvantage would be time. I won't have the luxury of taking my own sweet time to finish my assignments and study for exams. I won't have the luxury to wake up anytime I want (hehe) and plan my leisure activities whenever I like. I'm not sure if I'm ready to give that up at the moment....

I'm thinking if this opportunity came towards the end of my masters program, then I probably won't hesitate so much. I'll probably have more confidence by then, knowing what I wanna do and where to head. Another thing is that, my job as a home tutor is beginning to establish more now and I'm expecting more stable pay. Is opportunity knocking at my door at the wrong time?

I'm talking like as if I've already gotten the position. Haha...

I love both teaching and psychology and this is indeed a good opportunity to merge both my interest. The question is...

Am I ready?

~Never crossed my mind~

2008-11-27T16:29:00.008+08:00

I just found out my interest in teaching not long ago and I do enjoy teaching the language that I'm comfortable with. I have confidence in what I'm doing now and I have a vision of offering my service to those who are in need and upgrading the level of English in Malaysia, how ever little influence I may exert.

Suddenly, I have been offered a chance to lecture General Psych in a Pre-U (Matriculation) Program in HELP, recommended by both my classmate who's lecturing in HELP and my lecturer. My, I do have strong cables/ connections. Haha...

First thing that crossed my mind was - I have no confidence whatsoeva at all! But both of them managed to identify my positive assets and instilled some encouragement in me. I was seriously on cloud 9 that time... Weee....

Well, back to reality... I guess I might as well just give it a shot. It's actually not that easy cos I'll need to go through the usual CV, interview process and this time, with an additional mock presentation.

Anyway, I'll just proceed with it and see how things turn out. I may not be fated with the position after all, who knows?

~How was it?~

2008-11-24T00:28:00.002+08:00

Thanks to all those who greeted me for growing older yet another year.

Some asked how did I celebrate my birthday this year?

Well, simple... I spent it seeing doctors, doing assignments and teaching. I had an appointment with my neurologist that morning and then, accompanied my mom to her doctor in the late afternoon. When I reached home, it was homework time because I had two assignments due date coming up and as usual, I have my class to teach on Thursday night.

But...

I spent a lovey dovey day with him on Saturday, sort of like a compensation for not being able to celebrate my birthday on the exact date. I felt really appreciated that he felt guilty cos it shows how much he cares about me (hehe...). What did he get me? A pair of shorts that I've been wanting to get since August but I didn't because of the price. Plus, he got me a rather thick black jacket (from Esprit, mind you haha) because I had been complaining about how I don't have a proper jacket previously. I mean, I do have other jackets, but definitely limited. Two had already had its "bulu" popping out all over the place (which I really dislike in tops) while another had black ink spots on it. I'm only left with a white which was a very nice gift from my friends last year.

I would like to thank the "him" in my life for celebrating my birthday with me. It was really sweet and thoughtful of him for the date and the presents. Loving u always, dear...

~Happy 23rd Birthday, Jac~

2008-11-13T00:59:00.002+08:00

I'm officially 23, on par with my other friends, which to me, is not a very happy thing cos the age beginning with 2s seriously pass by very fast. It feels like a nick of time since I celebrated my birthday last year.

Dear "Almighty Force" (whoever you are/ wherever you may be), please do let time to tick by slower...

I would like to savour my life to its fullest every second as it ticks. It's not gonna be easy cos I/humans tend to live lives in the past but this is what I would like to do. What wishful thinking...

What's my birthday wish?

*Shhh...* For me to know, for you to find out...

~Fated~

2008-11-12T12:28:00.003+08:00

In my last post, I was still contemplating on which dress to wear to my cousin's wedding and the decision was finally made on Friday noon when something happened. It was like an omen, telling me that I was fated to wear that particular dress. I had two dresses in mind - one, the voluminous tablecloth and the other, a pink flowery dress. I was already inclined to wear the pink dress as I was afraid of being overdressed in the tablecloth. So, on Friday noon, I wanted to iron both dresses and the pink came first in line. Now, the pink dress was made of netlike material (I dunno what the cloth is called) and being careful, I adjusted the iron temperature to a "2". Unfortunately, me being green, the temperature somehow managed to burn through my dress; not the blank burnt type, it left two lines of torn scars on my dress.

The first scar. The dress has a inner pink layer. So, it wasn't noticeable.

This was when I took off the inner pink layer. Darn, it's bad!

I knew that was it! I was never gonna wear that dress to the wedding. They weren't obvious but... the dress was no more perfect! And the two lines were very sensitive, a slight rub/ contact with the environment would cause it to tear even bigger... That was when I felt the omen - I was fated to wear the tablecloth. Well, I do have other dresses but these two were the ones bought with the name of my cousin's wedding; that's why other dresses were not included in my choice. When the day came and I wore my voluminous dress in the end, it actually went well and things were perfectly fine - neither overdressed nor under-dressed...

That is what I mean by ~fated~

~Impulsivity kills~

2008-11-05T23:36:00.006+08:00

I bought a piece of dress from Envie previously, with the reason of my upcoming cousin's wedding. Now I have no idea (at least, for now) when will I be using it for.

I've had mix reviews regarding the dress, from me wearing to a table cloth, to the dress suiting my personality and suitable to create volume to fit my petite figure.

I seriously don't know. The thing is when I bought it, I must seriously admit that it was an act based on impulsivity, especially with the bright lightings and mirror effects, in addition to my mom and sister's encouragement and praises. Haha... So, I am now "left stranded" with the dress, which I have no idea what type of occasion would suit its usage, besides grand functions.

I actually have other dresses to choose from. But... Would this dress be suitable in the first place?

What do you think?

~Is medicine sufficient?~

2008-10-31T22:33:00.002+08:00

I was just wondering. Is seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication enough to cure one from his/ her psychological/ mental/ emotional problems? For instance, for someone who is panicky, does taking anti-anxiety pills actually help him/her entirely? Wouldn't there be underlying causes to why the person is so anxoius in the first place? What if he/ she is stressed out? What if he/she is yet to overcome some previous unfinished business?

This thought actually popped into my mind when I accompanied my mom to the psychiatrist in PJ because she had trouble sleeping and she wanted, I guess, some prescribed sleeping pills to help her. I was presuming that my mom was still undergoing grief process since the death of my uncle a month ago, or perhaps she's too easily affected by the events which are happening around her, that those thoughts replay in her head non-stop to the extent of compromising her sleep.

I'm not keen on medicine especially when it involves the mental/ psychological/ emotional part of lives because medicine can only work thus far, on the biological level. It is unable to aid us in our cognitive processes and emotional functioning. I suggested to the doctor that my mom see a counselor (my mom herself was reluctant) and he told me to put that idea on hold for two weeks, to see if the medication would work on my mom. I was thinking why can't my mom do both simultaneously? I believe counseling would do her good, at least a sharing session, where she is able to get support from a trustworthy and credible person, instead of exposing herself to those anxiety-provoking events in her life and she is left defenseless against them.

What is it with the stigma against counseling or even psychology? It exists for a reason. If it didn't prove its value, it would have evaporated long time ago but it survived, with proof and evidence from tonnes and tonnes of research.

So, people... Open your minds... Stop locking yourselves in that squared box of yours...

Andrew Chen Shi An - Nan Yang Top Ten

2008-10-31T22:09:00.001+08:00

His performance in Pin Hwa, towards the end.

~Wrong Guy!~

2008-10-30T13:04:00.011+08:00

Yesterday was indeed a memorable day. Not that it was sweet or romantic etc. It turned out that my impulsiveness was fruitful but in the wrong way. Let's see.. I was expecting to fruit durian, instead I got ... some other "didn't really matter" fruit.

This was what happened. Yesterday night, there was the Top 10 concert in Pin Hwa School, Klang for school charity. I wasn't suppose to attend because I had class in KL. I managed to come back at 10.30 and rushed to the school. To my utter confusion of emotions, I managed to catch 1.5 final performance of theirs, meaning half of the second last performer and their last group singing. *That's why the confusion of feelings - whether to be delighted or disappointed*

Anyways, we (the board of directors, organizers, performers etc) went for supper together. It was a usual activity after the concert. And there we were again, in the same restaurant, as the one that I had taken picture with Michael Wong/ Guang Liang few years back. *a picture just to refresh the memory*

Guang Liang is the one in the checkered top and me in the red jacket. This was way back in 2003/2004?

We (my sister and I) were yippy-yapping with the older generations. Duh! Of course we couldn't hang out with the bunch of young singers and dancers because we were there thanks to our dad who's in the committee. We were actually sitting with Mr.Robin and Qing Yong came once in a while to have a drink or two. Mr. Robin and Qing Yong are two famous singers from the previous generation, catering to the older folks who find it hard to appreciate modern music.

After supper, people started standing up and they were preparing to leave. That was when my sis got anxious and she kinda urged to approach them for a picture or two. I seriously reluctant because it would portray how desperate I was but my "id" was pushing the impulsiveness in me. So, just as the first singer approached the door (we were sitting near the door) I stood up and said "Den Yi Xia!" (Wait!) and requested that we take picture. The thing is, I didn't specify with who and I told the assistants that we wanted a group picture. Now... Things were a bit havoc and haywire at that moment because people were standing up and bidding their goodbyes. In order to not waste time, we ended up taking a picture with that guy that I approach, instead of the guy that we really wanted a picture with. It was weird... seriously...

As the singers were walking towards their vehicle, we gave up hope. So, in we went the restaurant. But the singers suddenly walked back towards the restaurant. And it was the restaurant people who were taking group pictures with them outside. We, on the other hand, were "locked" in cos they closed the door. To go or not to go, that was the question. In the end, we decided to stay in due to "face"...

After they were done, my sis urged me to go forward and request a photo with the original guy that we wanted a picture with. Alas, he was gradually walking away, much too far to be reached and we let the opportunity slip...

There was it.. The night of mistaken guy... Haha...

The guy that we originally wanted a picture with - Andrew Tan - Chen Shi An

The guy that we ended up taking picture with - He Zhi Jian

Compare the both of them...

Performers on the stage at the end

~Gestalt Therapy~

2008-10-27T21:08:00.002+08:00

Gone were those Sundays of "hanging out" in Starbucks, Gardens to discuss about our presentation on Gestalt. I think it took us almost a whole month to get it done and over with... Week after week, we had to devote our precious weekends to deal with this assignment and when the day finally came, I think we kinda pulled it off 70%. Not really up to our level of expectations, but it should be good enough because the topic itself was hard to explain.

No doubt, we cannot compare ourselves to the almighty lecturer but I think (personal opinion) my group didn't deliver the topic well. It was like as if the class was struggling to understand the concepts that we were trying to convey and there were constant frowns on their faces. The presence of textbooks suddenly became so vital. It felt like as if we needed the help from our lecturer every now and then - we say one sentence, and he needed to add another ten to clarify the theory. Gestalt is seriously not an easy theory to understand. There are tonnes of concepts and "wayward" ideas in it (though they make sense) but it is just very hard to let everyone understand what we were saying. We even had continuous discussions and argument about what a particular word would mean, what more the class which has never been exposed to this theory.

I think what captivated their attention (successful) was the video on Fritz Perls practising on Gloria. It was a classic and a hard obtained video which impressed the lecturer. In addition, the clip was interesting with Perls demonstrating the powerful impact of Gestalt...

However bad we sucked that night, I believe we have all put in our best efforts to make things work. At least, I liked the idea of the orange and it was good recap. The rose would have been more impressive if we could explain the concepts as well as Gerry, but I guess not, since we ourselves didn't even do enough research on "peeling the onion"...

Let bygones be bygones... We are after all, the blinds leading the blinds in this assignment...

~Indecisiveness~

2008-10-03T11:16:00.002+08:00

One man's meat is another man's poison.

Some might think that indecisiveness = simple, tolerable, "cincai", compromise etc. (characteristics of someone who gives in to others)

Some might think that indecisiveness = unassertive, easily succumb to pressure, no stand, gullible, even pathetic to a certain extent...

I believe I'm not the only one with the indecisive problem, it's just the intensity level which differs and for me, I would say that I'm almost at the extreme, about 85%?

Probably because I have been brought up to live a "cincai" life that I don't really bother much. Other than that, parents pampering of may have not allowed much opportunity for me to decide on things. From places to dine to fashion, I seriously do not have a strong stand. Or maybe it's only when I'm with Hc that the problem becomes apparent...

My decisions almost always turn out faulty. E.g. Place that I decide to go was at the peak hour of jam, the later air flight time that I booked made us spend extra money, clothes that I decide to buy (without him) aren't very suitable for me (when I thought it was nice at the time of buying).

Well, it's true that I do need to learn to how to make decisions and it is by mistakes of now, that I'll decide better in the future. It's just that... sometimes it really takes a harsh turn and I'll end up all demotivated. It's like whatever I do/ decide just doesn't seem right...

According to the theory of operant conditioning, when the desired behaviour is performed, one is rewarded and when the undesired behaviour is performed, one is punished. How often do we practice this, especially in our critical culture? Feedback/ critics to many = things that are not good ONLY. What happen to the positive events? How are we suppose to keep up desired behaviours when the element to motivate is unavailable? There seems only to be punishment at all times, psychologically and physically.

I suppose it's the same with me. When I decide right, everything may have turned out just fine but there's no support/ encouragement. But when it's wrong, there comes all the bombarding, without fail!

How will I ever overcome my indecisiveness?

~Just the two of us~

2008-10-01T00:05:00.003+08:00

Dearest Hc & I went out for a so-called "date" today. Well, to him, it was just another outing with me - movies, food etc. But it kinda felt like a more planned date than any other simple outing. So, after my class in the morning, I rushed back home and spent about 30 minutes thinking what to wear. I had already stored in mind about my clothing but it turned out a disappointment when my beloved Guess halter top went out of shape - most probably due to the way it was hung in the closet with the hanger. 30 minutes and I still couldn't find a suitable top to pair my jeans. I decided (with Hc's help, of course) to wear a dress instead. Just a turning from the MPK hill, I told Hc that I wanted to return home to change. I felt that I had overdressed. Hc dropped many hints that I had indeed overdressed for yet another outing. So, home I was, and in the end, all I wore was just a plain tank top & a pair of jeans. My initial idea was to wear to impress, to somehow prove to Hc that I have improved in my fashion taste but it backfired. I guess I still need a lot of mentoring & experience whenever it involves fashion.. Sigh..

Anyways, we watched the movie "Painted Skin". *spoiler ahead*

Despite Hc trying to convince me that it was a horror movie (which I almost believed), he finally admitted that it was a love story. Intrigued and curious, I had high hopes when the movie started. ... The movie was quite slow at the beginning; quiet, soft and all... The story line was not bad; as mentioned, it involves love. The guy is married and loves his wife very much. Then, he saves a fox devil (hu li jing) and she falls in love with the guy as well etc. In the end, they all lived happily ever after. I must say that Donnie Yen's character was the livelier one. He had a sense of humour and he livened up the movie. Overall, I would rate the movie "B". Not a "to die for" movie, but if you want to watch, by all means, go ahead... For more info, click here.

We enjoyed a luscious meal in Chillis & one very hearty meal, it was. I was too full to even savour the famous molten chocolate cake. I made Hc promise to bring me there again next month just to have their cake.

A nice, sweet day just for the two of us...

林峯 - 愛不疚(MTV)

2008-09-26T13:55:00.001+08:00

Raymond's song in Moonlight Resonance.

~Drooling...~

2008-09-25T17:13:00.009+08:00

How can I not drool over my boys in "The Four"?

Esp.... over Raymond Lam...

His new album: Your Love, with the song of "Ngoi Pat Kau" in Moonlight Resonance.

Gun Ga Zai & Yu So Chau in Ka Hou Yut Yun. His image as a goody two shoes, a son who demonstrates utmost filial piety towards his elders and attachment towards his siblings.

His image in "The Four" as Mou Qing (Emotionless) - although disabled, he's the most intellegent and he plays the role of relating the clues and solving cases.

Tit Sau @ Iron Hand (Kenneth Ma) and Zhui Ming @ Life-Chaser (Sammuel Chan)

Lang Huet @ Cold-Blooded (Ron Ng)

There's Mo Qing, Zhui Ming & Tit Sau in this picture. The other two standing behind Lam Fung is his fellow followers (Mo Qing is their Young Master).

Ji Yin (Kate Tsui) is Mo Qing's girl in the show. The younger one of course, no offense to the other lady...

Mo Qing protecting Ji Yin (She's actually a spy from the evil Minister, Choi Keng) but he's blinded by love.

Like his posture in this pic.

The Four reuniting in the end (after going through some turmoils) to accomplish their superordinate goal - to fight Choi Keng!

For more info, go to the TVB page. Click here.

~Moonlight Resonance~

2008-09-22T12:56:00.003+08:00

Moonlight Resonance finally reached its final 40th episode...

The show has ended, after all the turbulence and dramatic conflicts. The ending was idealistic and portrayed optimism in life (although it was, in my opinion, a little too much). I like that Gun Ga Zai@ Ah Hou (Raymond Lam Fong) and Yu So Chau@Ah Chau/ Sam Lui (Linda Chung Ka Yan) are together. I was on the verge of hating her for being cruel and selfish, leaving him who had sacrificed so much for her without breathing a word about it, and going after Dr. Ling (Bosco Wong Zhong Zhak) but luckily, she did not end in the end. It was a plot to trap her evil-witch mother. Good to see Ah Ka (Moses Chan Hou) and Ah Yuet (Tavia Yeung Yi), Ah Yuen (Chris Lai) and Ka Mei (Kate Tsui Zi San) together after going through so many obstacles, not to forget Jo Bao and Hor Ma as well after a full separation of almost 15 years.

I expected the big twist to come from Ka Mei's betrayal towards Yan Hong@Ah Hong but no, the climax was when Ah Hong's very own daughter, Sam Lui betrayed her and revealed the truth about her mom; also giving away/ returning her big portion of shares in the Ka Hou Yuet Yuen's biscuit company to Jo Bao and Hor Ma.

A very well-plotted series filled with dilemma, hatred, conflicts and ultimately, LOVE... Sometimes it seems ridiculous and too harsh a reality but it's just a show nonetheless.

Looking forward to my hotties in "Siu Lin Sei Tai Ming Bou@ The Four", featuring Raymong Lam Fong, Ron Ng, Sammuel Chan and Kenneth Ma.

~Finished my first assignment of the semester... at last...~

2008-09-22T12:14:00.003+08:00

After weeks of dragging (about 2 weeks), I finally managed to type the last paragraph of my assignment and that ended it. Of course, I'll be editing it in this two days' time since the due date is on this Wednesday.

I've been kinda "cheong hei" in my writing and I guess that's what been dragging it the whole time; even surpass the number of pages required. Looks like I've got to learn the parsimonious KISS way - Keep it Sweet and Simple, in other words, Keep it Simple Stupid!

Tonnes of assignment coming my way... Gotta buck up!

Aja aja Fighting!

~So so little time... Missing you...~

~Procrastination - a part that will always be inherent of me~

2008-09-20T11:25:00.002+08:00

Procrastination is the thief of time.

It is a universal truth... just like how the sun rises from the east and sets in the west...

Logical and sensible...

And very unfortunately, it is a part of who I am...

Every semester I tell myself that I need to get rid of this habit of mine but it hasn't been progressing well thus far (after a whole year!).

I have an assignment due by next Wednesday and here I am, typing a blog entry instead of finishing the other half of the work. Then again, the work doesn't seem hard or mind-blogging; not the type that requires one to sit in front of the computer and produce nothing but a paragraph after a whole two hours. I guess that's why I'm giving myself tonnes of excuses not to get it done and over with. Anyways, I am determined to finish it today by hook or by crook. No more excuses!

And we shall see the progress by 12 midnight today, whether I deserve a pat on my back or whack on my butt!

~Pros & Cons of Private Tutoring~

2008-09-18T11:36:00.000+08:00

I am having fun teaching and I enjoy my role as a teacher. The time flexibility and money (if I could have more students) and even the position of authority, motivate me to continue working in the education line.

Of course, there is the negative side as well. SPM's coming and my F5 students are bound to stop their classes. Holiday's coming and my students are bound to request for a break. My adult student called today to cancel his class tonight due to job commitments. My other students canceled the previous classes to prepare for their trials. All of this, of course, results in my financial instability. I have to start from scratch (advertising, scouting etc.) in order to cope during the holidays and in the coming year. Not to mention that I do not have EPF or SOCSO as this is a private "business". Also not forgetting that I do not get bonuses or commissions!

So, what's the fun in the job? It is the ideal one (for me) as I am able to cope with my studies and earn money at the same time. As a part-timer, the money is sufficient but of course, me being the greedy me, money is never enough; therefore, the financial insecurity. I feel bounded by responsibility to be able to care for myself financially. Furthermore, I should be contributing to the family - giving my parents and siblings monthly allowances, paying for dinner, groceries etc. but I'm not up to that level yet... Also, I feel a sense of responsibility to pamper Hc as well since I am the working one and he's still studying.

Alas... I can dream, I can hope, I can wish...

I look forward to the day of such luxury in my life...

Trip to Redang Island Day III

2008-09-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

The third day went by really fast. Wake up. Pack. Time to check out.

I missed the sea. I wanted to dash to the beach and savour the scenery, the water, the air etc. for one last time before leaving. I wanted to revisit the fishes near the stones. I wanted to walk down the short plastic jeti, just as how I walked down Langkawi's. I was somehow worried that the beach would get polluted very soon and I wanted to appreciate every tiny bit of it while I can... But no... Time and tide waits for no man/ woman...

I knew that I wouldn't be visiting Redang anytime soon unless I pester my friends or my family to go. My dearest boyfriend has announced that he won't be going anywhere near the sea for the next five years as he has probably visited almost all, if not all, of Peninsula Malaysia's islands. That, of course, leaves me to visit them all by myself, all alone... What's more? My parents only trust me to go to the sea either with them or with him. Great! I don't even know if I can play with water with just my friends around...

Our last picture taken in the hotel

Anyways, we left and reached the port at about 2.30pm. Our flight was unfortunately scheduled at 9.15pm. There was actually a 3++pm flight but I, who had tried to be the smart one, chose the later flight to avoid traffic jam when we go back to Klang from KLIA. And that decision cost us an extra expense on the car rent for a half a day (even lesser than that)...

The place where we had our lunch. Famous for its nasi minyak, according to Hc.

Hc driving a manual car, and rather smoothly...

The place where we bought keropok. Endless stream of packed buses parked nearby for tourists to buy keropok here.

Went to the Malay bazaar. Had variety of food. Nearby was the rehearsal for a cultural show that night.

The fruit juice (dragon fruit + longan) at China Town.

We headed to the airport by 8pm and managed to snap a few photos at the currently being renovated airport.Picture taken near the check in counter area.

Home we were by 11.15 pm...

That was the end of our Redang vacation. I am soooo gonna miss that place...

~Mood continues to fluctuate~

2008-09-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

I am still low on estrogen & progesterone. Mood has been on the low today morning (thought someone stole my money) paired along with numbness towards pain. Mood then gradually improved after brunch. Plummeted in the late noon and returned neutral by evening (Found out that I had overspent, not that anyone stole my money). Mood has stabilized since dinner...

I am still lost... Hc says I think too much... Maybe, maybe not...

I need help...

*Bought a pair of heels. Don't even know if I made the right choice*

...

I am seriously in need of help...

~Long mood fluctuation day...~

2008-09-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

My mood has been fluctuating non stop today and I can't seem to be able to control my emotions.

Was fidgety and frustrated at one moment and all moody and sighing heavy breaths the next...

Tears kept rolling...

What's wrong with me?

I wish I knew...

I need a counselor...

Trip to Redang Island Day II

2008-09-13T23:54:00.001+08:00

Day 2 in Redang. We were supposed to go snorkeling. I wanted to go snorkeling badly because I haven't had the chance at all, especially with my parents restricting me to stay away from water. We called (the day before - day 1) but the person said that there was no one else tagging along, meaning we had to pay for individual private prices instead of cheaper sharing prices. Well, he told us to wait if there were other people who wanted to snorkel. So we waited till day 2 when he called at 8.45am to tell us that there was no one to share the boat with us. We decided not to go because of the unworthy expense. Next thing, he called again 5 minutes later to tell us that there were 2 people who wanted to snorkel but we needed to be ready by 9am! Hc declined point blank. Unprepared and sleepy, it was the right decision to make at that point in time. The guy kept calling that Hc had to go to the extent of shutting off his phone...

And so we continued sleeping till the sun shone brightly down at our butts. Changed, we headed to the beach..

The sun was amazing that day. A little heat, slightly warmer but it made the scenery perfect! Just simply breath-taking views!!!

The ang mohs removed the benches from under the umbrella to sun bathe directly under the burning sun.

Me after putting on my sun block lotion.

Hc posing after his sun block session.

Do we look happy together? Maybe... Maybe not...

A cute picture of Hc trying to be muscular. Didn't work, did it dear?

TAKE 1: My favourite jumping pose but my leg wasn't high enough.

TAKE 2: Better position but picture too high in frame.

Cool couple...

Despite the disappointment of not being able to snorkel, we managed to see fishes nearby the rocks. Bawal-look-alike fishes, shiny-coloured sword-fish-look-alike fishes and many others, all swimming very near. It was like they would just nibble you any time, as long as you don't move. I believe that we could even see corals if we swam further towards the darker blue of the sea. Another amazing experience.... Totally enjoyed it...

We had dinner at the same restaurant again that night. Not posting any pictures because the food didn't look very much presentable.

Checking out the next day. Very very reluctant to leave...

Trip to Redang Island Day I

2008-09-12T23:33:00.001+08:00

The trip to Redang was indeed a memorable one. It was my first time there and it was probably the I-don't-know-how-many-times that Hc had been to Redang. He has recently visited almost all of Malaysia's islands, I would say.

Anyways, we stayed in the ever prestigious Berjaya Hotel and were honoured with "first class" seats in the ferry. Not that it was special or anything... We were invited to a private, air-conditioned room with the rest who were occupants of Berjaya (including other ang mohs). The journey took us a full 1.5 hours, compared to a usual speedboat ride. We were wondering how did the people differentiate Berjaya occupants and non-Berjaya occupants and the most plausible answer was the mineral water bottles that we were holding. They were supposed to be souvenirs and I guess only we (and others) held it in our hands.

In the private cabin of the ferry

There are two Berjaya resorts in Redang - Berjaya SPA and Berjaya BEACH and having the privilege of being a BBC member, we were entitled to free stays in SPA, somehow just not Beach (We had to pay if we wanted to upgrade). Difference between the 2 Berjayas - OBVIOUS as hell! SPA was deserted, rahter desolate I would say...

Me at the SPA lobby, all quiet and deserted

Hc and I stayed in a room upstairs while the staff stayed in the room downstairs. How's that for a change? SPA was reserved for members like us while Beach catered to tourists, mainly Westerners, a few Japanese and Chinese here and there. Anyways, the first thing that we saw when we walked in the room was the king size bed (similar to the ones they have in Berjaya Langkawi) but I was kinda disappointed that it didn't turn out to be as luxurious as Langkawi. Not so much of a 5 Star hotel but more of a 4 star hotel...

The bed in the room

The next thing I saw was a left-behind pillow case on the chair. The plugs were unsafe. The toilet tiles were not very pleasant looking. Otherwise, the room was just as fine, even better than other hotels if we weren't being picky. A little dilly-dally here and there, we were ready to go over to Beach.

Pillow case

Plug

Toilet tiles

The shuttle schedule from SPA to Beach and vice versa

Arriving at the Beach resort, I totally felt an upgrade of status when I stepped into the lobby. It was a different feeling, like as if one was from the upper class and was treated with such luxury that one just didn't wanna leave the majestic place. The atmosphere was liven up by people walking up and down the pavement and the sound of flowing water coming from the fountain. We could even smell grilled food all the way from the lobby...

I was awed when I saw the beach... It was unbelievable (keep in mind that it was my first time there and it was nothing compared to Langkawi!).... We had a hard time finding for benches as all were occupied..., by towels... haha... Have no idea where were the people, probably down at the sea, cooling themselves after a full day of sun-bathing. I finally found one (at first) with no cushion on it and the one beside it was reserved by a pair of slippers, so Hc and I had to share for a while. Unfortunately, the place that we got were inhabited by huge, enormous sized BEES and flies! And what made it worse?! I didn't bring anything to spend my time while I enjoyed the sun. The smart ass brought a book without reminding me to bring one of my own. What did I do then? Played with his phone till it ran out of battery. Haha... We waded in the sea for about an hour and went back to SPA. Well, our time were indirectly tied down by the shuttle schedule and we had to leave early to "prepare" for dinner.

We stayed upstairs, room 474.

We had dinner at Beach. The white tent at the back was prepared for a couple to dine by the beach. How romantic is that? Way too romantic... It would sweep me off my heels, no doubt....

Hc's Long Island Tea. Took him a while to finish. Not the best of tase...

Lobby at Beach Resort.

The lovebirds...

That's the end of day 1...

~Tuition Promo~

2008-09-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

~My hairstyle since Jan '07 till August '08

2008-09-09T12:22:00.000+08:00

Chronological order of my hairstyle...

Early January '07

Somewhere in Feb/ Early March '07

Mid March '07

Beginning April '07 (tied)

End April '07

Mid May '07

End of May '07

July '07

Sept '07

Nov '07

January '08

May '08

June '08

August '08

Number of visits to the hair salon from Jan '07 to Aug '08 = 6

Anticipating another change soon hehe...

Phelps reigns the world of swimming! 8 Olympic Gold Medals!

2008-08-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

~Michael Phelps~

A name that will be remembered for decades to come, if not centuries...

The greatest Olympian, to have collected a total of 14 gold medals in 2 Olympics games (Athens; 2004, Beijing; 2008).

He has created history by winning 8 gold medals in ONE OLYMPIC !

He will be well remembered. His history will be spoken by many. It will take another, much stronger person to overtake what he has done in the pool... And I wonder who this next person will be? When will he pop up? Will there ever be such a person in the 1st place?

He is currently unbeatable... And I wonder again how long will he stay unbeatable? How long will he hold his world recordS? Will he appear as strong in the next Olympic games in London?

I started watching swimming because of the mighty Thorpedo, Ian Thorpe. With Thorpe's retirement, Phelps spurred me on to continue supporting swimming. These two swimming giants are definitely people that I will remember and admire for life...

Salute to Phelps, the greatest Olympian...

Chong Wei falters... to dominant Lin Dan...

2008-08-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

~Lee Chong Wei (Malaysia) vs Lin Dan (China)~ 17 Aug 2008, Beijing Olympics.

All Malaysians were expecting a tough fight between the badminton World No.1, Lin Dan and World No.2, Lee Chong Wei in their quest of who was to be the Olympic Champion 2008. Anticipating the game, I sat enthusiastically in front of the tv, waiting for the game to start, just right after the medal ceremony for the mixed doubles game. Soon enough, the game began...

Needless to say, Lin Dan controlled the game with utmost confidence from the start itself. Hc and I convinced ourselves that Chong Wei was a slow competitor and he needed some warming up before catching up with the World No.1... Much to our disappointment, Chong Wei never made it, not even close to Lin Dan... Losing 12-21 to Lin Dan in the 1st game...

I was expecting the tables to turn in the 2nd match. From bad, it became worse... There was nothing Chong Wei could do to stop the aggressive Lin Dan. Lin Dan was too much a strategist and attacker at the same time, nipping every single opportunity he had to sabotage Chong Wei's hope of keeping up with his scores. Lin Dan set his pace well, killing every moment he sees a chance, or at least forcing Chong Wei to hand him a free shot to carry out his perfect attack...

Final results - Chong Wei bowed, hands down to the current greatest badminton player, Lin Dan of China. Thus, ending Malaysia's hope of getting the first ever Olympic gold medal.

Scores: 21-12, 21-8

There's not much to comment except that Chong Wei was not on form tonight and of course, we all know and believe that he is much more capable than what he had delivered tonight. I guess, "luck" wasn't on our side of the country. Unlike Lin Dan, he was full of energy and was out there, determined to go for the kill; he lead an easy win, leaving Chong Wei no chance of being anywhere near his collection of points. Lin Dan has been maintaining his status as World No.1 for quite a long time already. It is not an easy task, especially for a badminton player.

Salute to Lin Dan...

Nonetheless, respect for Chong Wei for being able to make it thus far... His record will probably stay on for another decade in Malaysia (I think... Haha...) - The badminton singles player who bagged a silver medal in Olympics.

Lin Dan kissing his gold medal after a convincing win.

A dejected looking Chong Wei with his silver medal.

Why am I always broke?

2008-07-27T18:18:00.000+08:00

I was broke! And I am still broke! Why is it so?

1. I'm a spendthrift.
2. I spend more than I earn.
3. My salary's a bummer.
4 I'm just being annoying.

What's the answer? A little of everything. Actually, a lot of everything. I suck at financial management!!! Argh! Hc always says that I'm being too unrealistic whenever I stumble upon issues of money.

Truthfully, my earnings should be good enough considering the amount of time that I spend working and the extra time that I have to do my personal stuff, which includes studying and doing my assignments. So, I should be more than satisfied with how much I have. But... But... But... Who's ever satisfied???

I still have time slots to fit in. So, for those who are in need of help in English, do feel free to contact me. Hehe...

He's back!

2008-06-23T01:23:00.000+08:00

He's back from Kelantan, finally... After a whole 3-4 weeks of training at the USM hospital... Was kinda counting the days before this and I'm glad that the short distance separation has finally ended.

Let's see... We went to Mid-Valley on Thursday and watched "Kungfu Panda" which i thought was absolutely awesome and recommended. A comedy cartoon worth watching. Storyline wasn't of anything special but it's definitely a good movie that makes you laugh from head to toe... The panda was exactly Jack Black look alike. I could hardly recognize Angelina Jolie's voice (may be it's just me being blur) but if u all haven't already known, she's the voice for tigress. I knew that Jackie Chan too contributed to the voice. I was listening carefully for his voice to appear and he turns out to be the voice of the monkey. And he probably only spoke 2 sentences for the rest of the movie. Haha.. I liked the panda's goose dad. I thought he was very funny. "The Noodle Dream" Haha... Even Master Ooguay was funny. His name is that for a reason. Haha... Okok... Enough of laughing by myself... For those who have not watched this movie, please do. You'll definitely have a good laugh about it... I know life's busy etc but you've gotta relax every now and then. The movie's a great relaxing tool, trust me!

I prepared breakfast at home on Friday morning (hash brown, eggs etc) while i waited for HC to come. Unfortunately, my dearest sister misunderstood and ate a whole plate down by herself. So, there goes my hard prepared breakfast with my bf. Well, he did bring over muffins and breakfast was filling nonetheless. As i was preparing to go teach after lunch, my student msged me, telling me tat she had things to do in school and class had to be cancelled. So, we decided to watch another movie in AEON Bukit Tinggi - Get Smart, another comedy themed movie. Again, I would be more than glad to recommend you this movie if you need a good laugh or two. Anne Hathaway's hot! Her clothes are just way tooooo cool! Hero fans, you've got that Japanese guy who can control time acting in this movie. Wrestling fans, The Rock's in the movie, showing his ever amazing fighting skills. The movie is really funny especially with the main character being expressionless most of the time. The dancing part of the show was hilarious! Go ahead, give this movie a try...

I was stuck in jam for about 45 mins to 1 hour on Saturday noon after my class and all because of??? (drum roll...) THEY BLOCKED THE BLOODY BRIDGE!!! We all had to use the roundabout. It was such a bad jam! Gosh! When will they try to hurry the building of the bridge?! It's driving everyone in Klang crazy! Klang is seriously not a place to stay anymore, especially with all the unanticipated and unavoidable jams! Even though it may be famous for its Bak Kut Teh, it's seriously not worth coming to because of the inconvenience of roads...

Anyways, we went to AEON Bukit Tinggi again to shop for Hc's friend's present. We walked and we walked; we window-shopped and we window-shopped until he finally found the right thing to buy and i bought an additional skirt (which was actually unnecessary...) That's the minus part about window shopping. Yup, the whole original idea was to see and not pay but once in a while, the temptation gets a little too strong to resist. Whatmore, MNG was having its mega sale. The skirt Hc bought for me the last was discounted up to a ridiculously low price which made my blood boil!!!! Argh!!!

Sunday - Went to BBK Jusco after breakfast. His two little cousins were watching Kungfu Panda with Hw while both of us watched Made of Honour. If you're a fan of My Best Friend's Wedding, Sweet Home Alabama, Wedding Planner etc (romantic wedding movies), then this movie will be your cup of tea. The essence of the movie, i would say, comes from mainly My Best Friend's Wedding. Nevertheless, it's a relaxing movie which couples would probably enjoy watching. Patrick Dempsey is sooo hot! The girl had superb body especially in the scene where she wore the lingerie! Totally hot!

Guess what? After dinner, we ended up going to AEON Bukit Tinggi to get bread from Lavender. Again, we were window shopping and shopping at the same time, only thing this time was with Hw and his gf. Taking, our own sweet time, we hopped from one shop to the next. TIme was actually kinda running out cos we went pretty late there. The Khoo brothers were the last customers in G2000. The promoters were probably cursing us already for dragging their closing time. Haha... Then, we hung out my ever favourite Biz Cafe (love their milk!) and chit-chatted for a little while... Well, Hw and K are gonna leave for their universities soon and it was an enjoyable time having to catch up and chat some nonsensical nonsense with them.

Hey, for the two of u (if you happen to read this entry), the separation is gonna proof how strong was your foundation of your relationship built and how strong you both can hold on together. It may be near but there's still distance nonetheless. So, in my opinion, it is still considered a long distance relationship (LDR). Things will be rough as time goes by but try to make things work. It'll take a lot of effort and to commit under such circumstances will be an enduring and challenging task. Well, if there's a will, there's a way. I hope things will turn out fine eventually. Remember, nothing's impossible. All the best, you two!

Here i am now, in my room... Too many things had been happening in the past few weeks, including me being admitted in the hospital for dengue (4 out of 6 of my family members were down with dengue actually). Now, my assignments, especially my research proposal, are catching up on me and i'm trying to expand on my job to secure better income (i can hardly see my earnings even until now...)

Anticipate the worst and hope for the best...

Always believe that we are in control of our environment but it's undeniable that somethings do happen for a reason...

All the best, to myself...

古巨基 - 年年有今日 KTV

2008-05-29T10:50:00.001+08:00

Who wants a birthday song? I recommend Leo Ku's new song.

Anti Fur!!!

2008-04-23T15:48:00.000+08:00

A very appalling video indeed. Have mercy on those animals...

Malaysia Election 2008

2008-03-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

To many, 8th March 2008 is the day that they decide on their leader.

To me, it was just another Saturday for me - waking up early in the morning to work, followed by assignment discussion with Fang in college. Not to mention the extra activity we did after that haha... By the time I got back to Klang, it was already almost 5pm, so I just decided not to vote since I won't make it in time anyway. Off I went to Hc's place and hung out there till late evening. His dad came home and told what his friend said "I always pay tax - income tax n everything, n they still wanna increase the price. Heck! I'll vote for opposition!" Haha...

When i got home, my parents weren't home yet. Actually, I was supposed to help out at ACS cos I got tricked by my dad to hand in my info to help them out. Substitute, it seems... He even said that I won't have much to do... Then i realized that they were always in need of help during election and my job included checking and counting the votes! Gosh! I felt so duped! Well, I came back late from college, so i didn't go in the end.

By the end of the day, I received news that all my parents network in the MCA suffered a terrible blow. None had won. Some crashed badly! Not only those in Klang, even those in Subang, PJ, even as far as Johor and Penang. My parents were devastated with the loss, not cos they're pro MCA, just that they find it a handicap to not have Chinese representatives anymore - no more Chinese Ministers to stand up for our race. True, election doesn't only involve voting for those who can serve the people, it also involves voting for those who can stand for our rights compared to other opponents who may not have access to such opportunities. Anyways, this election isn't about the candidates, it's more about the parties. I guess people have "taken" enough of the government's "concern", so instead of choosing a party that has been stable through out the years, they opted for other alternatives who have given words to work a few hundred times better.

Results will be officially out tmr. Let's see whether this is worth gambling for the next 5 years...

25th Wedding Anniversary present - Family Photo Shoot at the Bridal Gallery

2008-01-14T00:30:00.001+08:00

Sharing a few pictures in the albums...

1. Wedding Photo in white bridal gown
(My dad took better pictures when he wasn't looking at the camera. Seriously...)

2. Wedding photo in Chinese Traditional gown
(I really wanted this picture to be placed at our living room but my dad, due to his ego I think, wanted a more formal picture)

3. Family photo I
(Notice my younger brother's eyes looking elsewhere)

4. Family Photo II
(This is soooo like the "Tang Som Fong Pou" - TVB drama family portrait. Haha!)

5. Siblings photo
(Notice my younger brother's shoes are slightly too big... cos the shoes weren't his to begin with!)

6. Family photo III
(My elder brother looks like he's motivated to reach the yearly sales quota! Haha!)
7. Family Portrait IV

8. Family Portrait V
(Notice that I'm taller... I was standing on a piece of wood...)

9. Family Portrait VI

10. Family Portrait VII
(My dad's pants a little too short?!)

11. Family Portrait VIII

There were of course more pictures taken and I don't intend to put them all here in my blog. Drop by my house if you're interested to see more. Despite the minor errors every now and then, we were all satisfied with the outcomes of the photos.

P/s - Now I know what to expect when I take my wedding pics in the future. *giggles*

Many blog ENTRIES in a blog ENTRY... updated...

2008-01-13T17:14:00.001+08:00

Yes... Yes... Again, I have yet to update my blog. I really really have to buck up. Should put it into my list of Year 2008 resolution haha...

Let's start with wishing everybody a "Happy New Year". May Year 2008 welcome the best of events for all! As for me, I'm looking forward to a deeper understanding of myself and knowing what's best for me in all aspects including my career, hopefully... Other than that, may my love life with Mr. Right sail smoothly. Of course, may my family members be healthy and wise (haha)...

Well, Let's begin with my 1st post:

15th Dec to 17th Dec 2007 - Family Trip to Cameron with other families

Going back to Cameron after a few years was a refreshing experience. The last time I've been there was during my psych camp with Yi, Fang and Val before we left for the States. Moreover, the place that we stayed in this time was nearby the hostel that we previously stayed in. I remember that there was an incident where this boy at the camp went drunk on the last night (alcohol was a No-no!) and those who were involved in it, including those who saw or heard had a small meeting the next day. It was quite a group psychology kinda experience... Anyways, I had a chance to rewear my BSU sweatshirt and it proved its quality and purpose as warmth was exactly what it provided me with. Unfortunately, I had a great fall down the stairs on the 1st evening when we were all excited to go to their nigth market. Actually, it was already a 2nd fall caused by the same heels that made me slip once at my mom's office's stairs. The sole has already lost its "flower" haha... So, again I slipped, and this time a harder fall. It was darn painful but I had to pretend that it was no big deal as it was only the first day and I didn't want my parents to be worried sick. Next thing I knew, I had a big bruise on my left knee and a bigger bruise (bigger than my palm size) on my left thigh. My sis deleted the picture but I still managed to save 1 in my phone.

One memorable thing was our trip to the Boh Tea Plantation. The journey into the plantation was an eye-opener indeed. It was only 2km deep but it took us about 30 minutes to get in due to the narrow and winding road. Some parts of the road, actually most parts of it, were meant only for a single car to pass. So, we had to give and take when we saw other cars coming from the opposite direction. The view was breath-taking! Really an amazing experience! Going into the plantation was OK but coming out was worse! It started raining somewhat heavily and cars just kept coming in. I was quite pissed cos why were the cars coming in at 4pm when the place closes at 4.30pm, plus it was raining?! Anyways, we got stuck at this one part of the road when it was totally stuck - too narrow a road and cars from both sides. Then, there was this "smart" man who came down and knocked on our window to move on when he couldn't even see what was happening in front. He thought we were stuck cos we didn't dare to drive down further. Gosh, such shallow minded! Thank god we managed to get out of there alive and well. I was also worried for my parents at the same time cos their car was bulkier than ours (comparing a Mercedes and an Innova) and they came out later, alive and well too...

It was a nice trip overall and almost all our meals were home prepared, as in the aunties brought and bought food there to cook. However, the bomb dropped on the last day when I woke up in the morning feeling really bad about my tummy and I ended having a bad time in the toilet. Once before breakfast, again after breakfast and another while going down Cameron. Can you imagine going down the winding mountain with no toilet to be found? I had to hold my stomach for about 30 minutes. At one point when I thought I couldn't hold it any longer, I just told my brother to stop at the next orang asli house for me to borrow their toilet (which is like a small atap house). Lucky for us, there was a small sundry shop while going down and I thought I saw this public stop next to it. So, instead of going into the sundry shop I insisted on going to the public toilet (duh!) but guess what? The public toilet turned out to be a surau. Haha! And yes, I ended up doing my business in the surau's toilet. Not only me, so did my sis and younger brother. Haha...

24th & 25th Dec - Christmas Eve & Christmas
To make things short and simple, my Christmas Eve and Christmas day were spent with my darling boyfriend (of course!) and Christmas Eve was quite a memorable one cos it was his cousin's wedding day. The bridegroom and bride were both young and they looked so nice together. The bride's from Ipoh and she's so darn pretty. They had a live band performance (those that you see in pubs) and almost everything was in English (cos they had English education background). Took quite a lot of pictures that night too. Will be uploading them up on facebook once I get them from hc.

12th Jan Parents' 25th Wedding Anniversary Present - Bridal Album

This is a special entry. My sis and I scouted around for the best package and we found one near the KO specialist (near the closed Ocean). The lady was very experienced and she knew exactly what we wanted. Btw, D* Va* Bridal Gallery had really good designs but they were tooooo expensive, too far from our allocated budget. So for anyone who has enough budget and you're interested to take quality modern pictures, you can try that shop. Not to say that I wasn't satisfied with our shop - they took really good pictures and we had a variety to choose from. The picture taking day took about 5-6 hours and my parents were dead tired. My dad lost focus and just couldn't manage to give a single smile anymore. The photographer was good. He made us do a lot of poses and had his own ideas of the best positions. The only thing was, he was too straight forward a person - he can be damn blunt at times. Anyways, the outcomes were satisfying. Everyone liked the photos and they came out great!

Sept '07 semester finally ended...Part 2

2007-12-20T11:18:00.000+08:00

First semester of Masters of Counseling officially ended on 10th December! Actually the exams ended on 5th Dec but Dr.Goh extended the assignment due all the way to the 11th Dec. Anyways I finished it a day earlier and had a half day of shopping in Bangsar with my sis and my mom the next day. It was heck jam in KL, especially with the heavy rain. My dad was super pist already cos he was the one who fetched us all the way there... Oops...

I have no idea whether I'll manage to score well for my Development paper cos I only prepared for 2 essays when I was supposed to prepare for 3 essays. Not that I didn't do extra preparation, it's just that the extra turned out to be the wrong chapter. I only had the last 10 minutes to prepare for my 3rd exam, which was a confirmed No-no. So, I went in unprepared and just crapped whateva I could think of for my third essay. Cross my fingers that I won't score that bad!!!

My new sem's gonna start on the 2nd week of January and I'm still juggling my time with work and studies. I don't know how long I can cope with the hecticness. However, I do intend to let go my job to find another to accommodate to my studies very very soon, probably before CNY. Will have to think about it thoroughly during the upcoming holidays next week. Yup, I have about 10 days Christmas break next week. Kinda cool... Hehe...

Sept '07 semester almost... at end...Part 1

2007-12-09T01:21:00.000+08:00

Why did I say that the semester is almost at end although I've finished my finals last Monday and Wednesday? Well, I have one more assignment/ essay to hand in next Monday and I'm not even halfway through. I think I'm the type that works better under pressure but I know I have to overcome that weakness considering that I'm super prone to stress.

I had my presentation for Development Accross Lifespan on 28th Nov (Wed) and it was quite a long draggy yet funny experience. I was informed that the presentation for each group was roughly 10 minutes, and only 1 presenter for each group. So, Fang and I made a deal and she would prepare the power point, and I present our paper. Un/ Fortunately for us, we were the last group to present. Now, this was both the draggy and funny part. The first group had everyone presenting and it took about 20 minutes. The following group too had everyone presenting and it dragged on for 30 minutes. The third group, however, only had 1 presenter and it took about 30 minutes also. The 4th had all presenting and it dragged all the way to 40 minutes. Break was after that. I took the chance to ask how the presentation was supposed to be and they replied saying 15-20 minutes per group and optional for number of presenters. I was like SHIT! 15-20 minutes?! All I prepared was for 10 minutes. How the hell was I going to drag? Then, I felt slightly comforted that the other 2 groups said theirs were very short and needed to be dragged longer but I soon found out that their claims were untrue. They took about 20 minutes to finish. At last, it was out turn. The funny part was only the lecturer knew of our group's existence, our fellow mates didn't! They started packing at the end of the 2nd last group and were surprised to see us preparing! They even apologized for not noticing us. Haha...

Our topic was on HUMOR, so, i started the presentation with a "sex" joke:

A 90-yr old man announced his intention to marry a 30-yr old girl. After being advised by many, he finally went to the hospital.
The old man told the medical officer, "My friends and family told me to have my body checked, esp my sex organs, when I told them that I was going to marry a young lady."
The medical officer said, "OK then. Show me your sex organs."
The old man stuck out his tongue and showed his middle finger.

My joke was pretty simple, though a little inappropriate... Unfortunately, less than a quarter of the class understood our joke. I remember seeing a man putting his thumbs up and saying good joke! Haha... I think I did well for the presentation. I felt good after it, at least. The good thing was our presentation probably left a recency effect on the listeners. Plus, it was time to go home - everyone was obviously awake by then. Haha...

That was the end of all my classes this Sept '07's semester!

~Happy Birthday To Me~

2007-11-13T14:03:00.000+08:00

Tanti auguri a te
Tanti auguri a te
Tanti auguri a te
Tanti auguri a te.... (Birthday song in Italian)

Congratulations to me!

I would like to thank all of you who wished on this aupicious day. Thank you very much!

Unfortunately, for me, I've lost my sweet voice on my birthday. My present, that's what my mom said...

Also, I got an mc to rest at home.

Don't even know whether it's good or bad news... Haha...
Sick on birthday?! Not working on birthday?!

*Coughing badly as I'm blogging*

Occupational hazard, maybe?

Anyways... thanks again!

p/s - To dearest Darling, remember to compensate o! Haha...

Coping with work and studies...

2007-11-13T13:42:00.000+08:00

Where is the pressure coming from? Time management would probably be my biggest problem. I suppose every minute counts. There aren't a lot of assignments but they're definitely big assignments, involving much research and continuous thinking, of course not forgetting the ever paraphrasing, citation and referencing. Constant studying and revising, which I hardly have the time to do...

My days of classes are very tiring, usually waking up with puffy eyes the next day. I don't sleep very late. I try to get about 7-8 hours of sleep everyday but I'm still tired...

I remember during the last assignment due, I was practically dead. Hardly concentrating or contributing to my job. I had a bad headache attack, nausea etc. Bad bad working week. Totally not on par...

Let's see how I'll fare during the next assignment due which one is exactly on the day of finals while the other is a week before finals.

I don't know how well I can cope for long...

Another century...

2007-09-24T09:56:00.000+08:00

I don't even remember the last time that I logged in and posted a blog. The thing is that I'm quite sensitive towards facing the monitor for a whole long period of time. So, I tend not to stay online for long. Only comes online when I need to e.g. finding pictures for kids.

Anyways, I'm still working in Cosmotots. Yes, I still am. Have not left after almost 3 months. By the end of this week, I'll be a confirm (hopefully...)
Recently, mentors have had their classes rotated, including myself of course and I'm still adapting. I would say, not very good at it though because the kids are much wilder. Then again, there are those few who just happens to grip you unintentionally. I have a "favorite" kid in every class of mine. And one of my favorites is a chubby 5 yr old boy, who's super smart and cute and innocent yet mischievous. Got to understand that he's still a kid, so it's good to preserve some childlikeness in him. It's just so hard to resist his "attractiveness". All that innocence. I remember having the kids compete to finish a task of finding things in the class and I mentioned I wanted 3 pieces of rubbish. However, not being able to get any, this boy just grabbed the dustbin and brought it all the way front for me to check. Haha... Smart eh? He's also a thinking boy who has once asked me about why do humans exist even after the dinosaurs have extinct? I seriously had trouble answering that or did I just evaded his question? Haha... He talked about the altantuya case as well to my colleague. Told you he was smart! Love smart kids who just blow me off!

I've also recently resumed my Masters in Counseling Psychology in HELP. Although it has only been a mere 2 weeks, I could feel the "difference" between the Malaysian and American's education system. Somehow, I felt that my senior yr as an undergraduate was more independent compared to my masters program now. It could just be me being all bias etc. Or it's understandable that half the class didn't have background in psych, so, there's still a lot of lecturing. I'm not discriminating. In a way, it's good because it refreshes what we've learnt before, especially 90% of it would be buried deep in the memories already. As usual, Dr.Goh's class is still as captivating as before. As for the other, I don't really want to comment much. She's an experienced person and probably an expert at what she does, but I would assume not in lecturing. Sometimes, Fang and I would feel that her examples aren't very "accurate". Not that they're inaccurate, it's just that they're phrased inappropriately. It would have been easier to understand if they were phrased otherwise... Well, I do not want to be the person poking at her everytime during class. So, it's sometimes a dilemma of whether to approach or not. Maybe it's just good that we act deaf-mute once in a while. Did going overseas made a difference in my sense of assertiveness? In my opinion, it most likely did... May not be useful all the time, but I'm glad I acquired this skill, doesn't matter whether I got it from US or Malaysia...

Btw, I had a haircut too last, last Saturday. A really short one, somewhere around my neck - bangs haircut. I've had mixed reactions. My kids really dislike it (almost all said ugly, kids say the darnest thing!) buy I've got adults who said that it suited me well. Hc hates it nonetheless, haha... It'll grow, don't worry...

Nowadays, my life revolves around work, work and study... My colleagues are my circle of friends. I miss my friends. Thinking about what Hc said yesterday, it's actually quite true that besides him being my main solitary person to confide in, there's hardly anyone now that I really communicate to. Not saying that I've shut myself away from people, it's just that I don't share with people as much as I used to anymore. Probably cos I don't hang out with friends as much as I used to anymore.

Life goes on...

Ultimate goal in life: To become a siu lai lai whose main responsibility revolves around bringing up my own kids.

Hehe...

~A Battle of Piano in Secret~

2007-08-25T21:09:00.001+08:00

Beautiful battle! Really salute both of them! Sadly the video's a bit "jerky"... Do not doubt it! It's Jay playing the pieces!

Long long update...

2007-08-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a month since I last visited my own blog. Not that I was super duper busy... Just that I'm so sensitive towards facing computers nowadays that I'm worried I'll get headache whenever I face the cumbersome monitor. Hc has just recently diagnosed me with tension headache which is related to inability to release stress, therefore, resulting in bad headache...

For updates...

I'm currently working in a Child Centre in Klang. It's not a kindergarten, neither is it a tuition centre. It focuses mainly on English and kids come to expand their minds (I hope...) Have been working there for only a month. Still learning about their teaching methods. Still undergoing training at the moment. But training is always on, I think...

There, I get to see and experience different type of kids, from good to bad, cute michievous to horribly mischievous, almost any type, I would say. There's of course my pretty boy there. I think I consciously or unconsciously pay more attention to him. Haha... But he is one good and smart boy, so I guess no harm done. There are those who just get on your nerve. I was told that I'm fierce. Well, I expect highly from the kids, always pushing them to strive for the best, trying to bring their potential out. Sounds really idealistic right? Haha... Kids who don't put in effort really annoys me. I know they can do more but it's like they're giving up without even trying. It's fun and interesting but when things don't go the way I think they're supposed to (that's when the kids get on my nerves), it's really frustating. But I'll be ok after that. It's just during class where I need to be flexible and adapt to various situations, especially when every kid is different...

Besides work, I intend to continue my studies soon. In what? None other than counseling psychology. Really considered clinical psychology but course not offered in Malaysia. If anyone has any clue of where I can take up courses on art and play therapy, please please please do let me know!

Latte has improved in her potty training! So happy! Yay!

Resignation accepted

2007-06-20T20:02:00.000+08:00

I have resigned... officially on the 17th June 2007.

I handed in my resignation letter on the 8th and I worked till 17th. By right, it was a one week notice but I voluntereed to work till the 17th because I felt that I needed to help where ever I can, at least until that Sunday's event.

Actually, I thought of handing in the letter on the 11th, after the ISO training but on the 7th, I was told to stay in the office and not attend the training for following up purposes (too many things to do). So, I made up my mind to give in earlier since there were no more training opportunities to attend.

I rushed to buy white envelopes that Friday morning, wanting to reach the office earlier than my manager. Opened her locked room and put right on top of her desk. At about 9++am, my manager called me and I knew what it was going to be about. The first thing she asked me was "Is it so tough working here?" I told her "Well, I'm not leaving because of the job, I'm leaving because of different interest". Then, we continued talking about my dreams and what I had in mind to do next etc. I told her that I intended to study (which I really do, but probably not till the intake is open haha... but for leaving purposes I had to bring forward the date that I would be starting my course - July? haha...) Anyway, we talked for a while and I just continued with my work soon after.

By lunch time, my manager asked me to have lunch together. I agreed and as expected, she tried persuading me to stay during that time. I was adamant to leave althought I did thought of staying to help part time till the event in July ends. She told me that Frankie (another manager) knows about my bomb and they were trying to think of ways to make me stay. Just shortly after that, my colleague messaged me, saying that my resignation news spread very fast and that people were asking him about it. The thing that made it funny was I handed in the resignation in the office and none knew except for both me and my manager. On the other side (training, which involves about 70% of the Office staffs) knew about it. How fast do rumours spread? Or in this case, true news spread? Haha...

My manager left about 3-4pm, leaving me alone in the office (alone as in my department). I really had nothing much to do besides updating the action plans and following up from time to time, or even coordinating finalized documents from the office and the training side. So, other colleagues and I chit chatted around while waiting for the clock to strike 6pm!

*Story to be continued...*

Shih Tzu at home...

2007-06-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

I have a Shih Tzu at home!

Yes... Yes... I know how I use to say that my parents do not agree with having pets (besides fish) at home...

Well, I guess they agreed this time, thinking that we're old enough to take good care of our pet dog.

It all started with my younger brother, abi, who was super enthusiastic on getting a pet dog. He did quite a wholesome of research online, of what dog breed, etc. Showing them to my brother & mother every now & then, asking for opinions of which dog would be best.

Finally, he stumbled upon a friend whose friend is intending to sell off their pet Shih Tzu. He got detailed information and was very keen, bugging our lives almost everyday to proceed with keeping a pet dog.

So, I told him to prepare a proposal, with objectives & budget in it. Anticipate the risks that we're going to face. The poo, the pee, the food, the bacteria, the smell etc.

Abi was dead serious about it that he asked for a sample of proposal from me & so I did. I passed to him the proposals that I used for my work. Of course, he couldn't understand a few terms here & there e.g. collaterals, expenditures. Haha...

Anyway, he prepared one. Probably isn't the most proper & neatest of all but it was indeed good effort. He even added possible profit through selling of puppies in the "objective" part.

Not to forget, in my trip to Malacca to celebrate my grandma's birthday, we saw people exhibitioning & selling dogs at Jonker Street, which triggered us to feel like having one for ourselves.

After amending the proposal every now & again, we finally set last Sunday (10/06/07) to see the dog at his friend's friend's house. Upon seeing the dog & a little persuasion from the ex-owner & of course after negotiation of price & thorough understanding of the dog's "habits", our management (mom dearest) decided to go ahead with the idea.

So, now I have a "bitch" at home. haha... I know it sounds harsh...

I have a female dog at home. They initially named her Belle but we thought it sounded a little "ah lian/ liong". We changed her name to Latte, considering that she has white & brown color fur/hair. There were a few options before we finalized her name, from Toffey to Mocha to Cappucino. Haha...

Latte has gotten used to that name & she's quite tiao kae (jual mahal) at times. Also, she has not gotten over the potty training period. She still pees & poops around, which gets to everyone's nerves! She has gotten used to biting. Not good! Cos she broke my mom's vase while biting the plant's leaves. She played with the hiu lo (the thing to put the prayer's burning sticks - don't remember the term). Whenever, she bites around or leaves her mark behind, she gets scoldings & beatings from us allright, mainly from me, my sis & my mom (super!). Latte's one smart dog. She always show the sad, innocent, I'm sorry look when she knows she has done wrong & we're about to beat her... My maid is afraid of Latte. She runs when she saw Latte earlier & Latte thinking that my maid wants to play, ran after her! Haha...

Anyway, Latte's quietly sleeping in her cage now. WHen she's active, she can be all over the place. She hardly wants to sit in her cage. If we lock her, she'll start barking. However, when she's tired or lazy, she wouldn't even bother standing. She just lies down flat on the floor & enters her cage when we ask her to...

Vet pricing's not cheap... Brought her to trim her face hair (too long, poking her eyes) & it cost quite a bomb!

We're just obsessed with Latte!... For now... Haha...

Disappointed yet glad...

2007-06-04T17:48:00.000+08:00

The news is out! ...

And yes... As expected... I failed...

What did I failed in? That is up to me to keep my peace...

Why did I fail? I know the reasons better than anyone else does...

Just wanted to express a little or two in my blog, that's all...

I wouldn't deny the disappointment having to know that I have not passed, after such a long wait and especially, during the last stage...

I am glad however...

Because I wouldn't want to get myself stuck in a dilemma, choosing between my interest and the "luxurious" income...

Maybe... I wasn't meant for corporate life...

Maybe... I was all the while looking for a simple life...

I just want to return to my roots... That is one thing that I'm sure of...

Thanks for those who supported me and who are still supporting me...

It's a blessing to know that so many people out there are always around when I need them...

Thank you again...

New resolution! New perspective!

2007-05-27T09:57:00.000+08:00

After much advise & much thought... I've so far come to a new way of adjusting my life.

UOB's reply is gonna come in by coming Wednesday, to confirm whether I get the offer after almost 2 months' waiting & going through tests. In my personal opinion (seriously)... I won't get the offer cos I know how terrible i performed in the interview.
Reason 1: I was a little overconfident that I didn't do my pre-interview homework.
Reason 2: Overconfidence again cos I tot previous interviews may be good enough to prepare me for that interview.
Reason 3: Everyone's definition of easy is different (Not blaming anyone here).
Reason 4: I, myself, am not ready for that position - not ready for high management posts.
Reason 5: I fell for the interviewers' "interrogation". Not that they were mean or strict or anything, they're extremely nice ppl who are thinking from their point of view. So, its natural that the questions they ask make sense. Unfortunately, for me, there was a question or two that hit my most vulnerable points. Questions that even I, couldn't answer myself. What else could it be? My question of studying or working... Whether getting a Masters is something that I want so badly? DUH!! Where am I going to be in 10 yrs time? I know usually in interviews ppl can produce huha answers like I wanna be a big manager by that time etc. But it was very hard for me to portray myself in that way cos I think deep down inside me, I haven't seen that part of myself... It just hasn't crossed my mind do I wanna be in a high post 10 yrs down the road... Very subtle thoughts... The thing is I can't even see myself clearly in these 2-3 yrs time, how am I suppose to see myself in 10 yrs time? That was seriously, to me, an easy yet "poisonous" question... N stg to be told.. Towards the end of the interview in which I intended to thank the interviewers for sharing & letting me see further into the future (very very genuine thank u), I suddenly broke down... I just couldn't hold my self back... Well, according to Hc, the issue has been in my head for quite a while, so wheneva i talk about it, it easily leads on to emotions. So... there it goes... I've shown the interviewers the last thing that I should have... Understand now why i won't get the job?! Hahaha...

I've stayed on a principal for a while now - "If i don't believe in it myself, how am I suppose to persuade others to believe in it too?" But ppl have said that it isn't what I believe in. It is what the consumers or those who need it (e.g. product) to believe in it. It is true. I dont deny that. If not, the market will not prosper today. But even until now, it's very hard for me to accept this believe - the idea that it is what ppl want that matters...

Previous wednesday gave me a knock on the head. Advertising & promotions were discussed to encourage sales of our properties. THen there were profiles of young beautiful, posed-as-models girls who were to be the usherers for the upcoming event. I was like... What? THey use girls in car shows, phones, beers, n now properties?? Is it necessary? I tot it was the product that matters. Then again, the package presentation was important too. It is nonetheless one of the most useful marketing strategies used today. Its what the consumers are looking for, therefore, the usage of girls to promote sales. Not that It's wrong. Again, it's just what the ppl want. It got me into thinking... I've learned about stereotypes, critical thinking etc. N i know, yes, it works. But base on my knowledge, I should be reducing such stereotypes n not reinforcing them! As the new generation, can't we just use other strategies than to use such ideas? What happened to critical thinking? If i were ppl out there, I'd be thinking what has pretty girls got to do with houses? The more sociable they are, the better the houses. I can confirm there is no, ZERO correlation!
I talked to hc about this & he said if thats the way i think, there's hardly anyway that I can stay in the industry. I've spoken to Yi & she agreed that working in a field that goes against our own believes & values will make both, us & the company soar. "If i don believe in the strategy, How am i suppose to convince myself to use it?" I probably sound like a naive girl thrown into the realistic society but what the heck! Sad sad society... I saw a clearer picture to what I don't want... Sales & marketing is fun in the sense that I get to meet a lot of ppl, which suits my personality & what I like. Unless the product etc. is stg I believe in, or not I'm going to have a hard time convincing ppl to buy them...

So what am I to do for now? I scouting for universities to continue my masters. I've considered counseling or early childhood education. I'll have to do research on which university, what are the courses, what can I work as, financial, n part time working. I intend to study full time n work part time in a place that is related to my studies. For now, I've decided to stay in the company till June. After that, I'm a gone person! If I can, I'd rily like to leave now but there are so many events coming up in June n if I leave, my manager will be in deep shit & I pity my new colleague... So... Will stay till end of June.

Speaking about my manager... Gosh! It's a CHALLENGE to work under her. Seriously! There is much to say about her... I don wanna start being bitchy now but the comments are endless hahaha... I will surely talk about it when we see each other again - Klang jimuis etc. Or i might just blog about it discreetly hahah...

Previously, I tot i was trapped! But... No! I allowed myself to be trapped. I was afraid to step out, afraid of what ppl may think of me, afraid of responsibilites n burden... I'm glad that I've stepped out of the shell.. N i hope things will turn out great!

Aja Aja Fighting!

To do what I should or To do what I want?

2007-05-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hey ppl... Back into blogging after quite a while...

What am I doing besides work, work & work? I've come to realize that work's one of the "boring-est" thing on earth... unless, that's unless, one has found the job of his or her dreams. In my case, sad to say, it is not my dream work. Then, some may say, 90% of the time, ppl end up doing work that has either nothing to do with their course or ppl just end up not doing the work of their dreams, be it the environment, job scope, bosses etc.

Why am I not satisfied?

Come to think about it, my job scope wasn't drawn out specifically. I know Miss Sze Ee has told me to keep an eye on this issue but I didn't understand her meaning well then. I totally get it now. I am suppose to be a Sales & Marketing Exec. Much to my surprise (or may be not), I'm doing 70% admin work now. From typing to photostating to emailing, even to MAKING MILO, I've done them all... Wondering why am I still staying there?

There are few reasons why:
1. If I leave, where am I to go after that? I have not secured myself any road ahead. So I don wanna quit without knowing my direction...

2. I don't wanna be judged as a person who can't withstand the "challenges" outside. I know very well that I can be good at my job, doesn't matter whether I like it or not. I'm a person that aims to excel in the things that I do (not boasting k...)

3. I'm being exposed to a lot of skills & knowlegde. My boss passes down a lot of things for me to, forcing me to learn things that I've never imagined I would know, sometimes beyond my capacity. I get a lot of exposure in my workplace.

Seriously... Deep down inside me... I wanna do something that is related to psychology... I MISS PSYCHOLOGY! Be it child, counseling, industrial, as long as i'm doing something close to psychology, I will have strong passion & enthusiasm towards it!

I wanna continue my studies, my masters but sometimes reality just suck! Financial's a problem... Deciding which Uni to go to is another problem... Deciding what do I wanna specialize in is also a problem...

I've heard comments that I suit sales or marketing or PR but I have yet to see myself flourish in those areas. May be cos I haven't been given such opportunities. At my current working place, there aren't much sales or marketing to do. By the way, I just found out that my job scope focuses on internal marketing (research & database updating) which wasn't what I was looking for in the 1st place. I wanted something outgoing, something exciting, something vibrant... N yet now, where have I landed myself into?

Almost every single time that I've talked to Hc about, almost every single time I'll ended up dropping a tear or two (should be more than that)...

I don't wanna give up... but I don't wanna do something that I don't enjoy doing...

Yesterday, I had a new perspective... I wanted to be the person up there, sharing my experience & motivating ppl through the knowledge & skills of psychology... The word that came into my mind was INFLUENCE... I want to make a difference in people's lives through psychology... The question is HOW?

...

*LOST*

...

Freestyle Dance : Mirror Story - Korea (Prepix)

2007-04-30T23:09:00.001+08:00

Wanted to post this the other day but just couldn't make it through. Anyway, another cool dance by PREPIX! Watch out for the duplicate haha...

Fei Ni Mo Shu by Tank

2007-04-30T23:08:00.001+08:00

Sweet sweet song... As always...

Done with University, moving on to the Society's school...

2007-04-20T14:44:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone... I haven't been blogging for quite a while & here I am now, in my working place, blogging while my manager is away (she is on MC leave today)...

Anyway here are the updates... (quite a long blog)

GRADUATION:

I had a family photo session with my graduation robe on last Saturday evening (14.4.07). It was a memorable & meaningful one cos we've never had that opportunity in the past. I asked HC to come along, which he did. Hahahaa... It was fun cos we were required to post & smile, this n that... HC & I took 2 pictures together... One thing bad though.. I looked damn damn damn ROUND with my mortarboard on! Also, I didn't have my CUm Laude string with me..

THe official graduation was the very next day organized by HELP University College in Shangri La Hotel. I went in the morning with Yi n her parents. HC couldn't/ didn't want to come due to several reasons - expensive, troublesome, timing etc. Well, I gave him a choice of family photo or graduation n he chose the former. There were a lot of ppl, most with flowers in their hands along with a bear with a mortarboard in the bouquettes. My parents came later, only managed to see them after the whole ceremony (they were at teh guest seats). Sadly yet uniquely for us, there were only 3 students gaduating from BSU (Me, Yi & Sheila). During the group photo session, the VIPS were more than the students. Quite empty, sigh... Mr.Sunjay Phukan (i hope it's the right spelling) & Dr. Kong gave us the recognition & the cert. It wasn't as colorful the scene in comparison to BSU's graduation. BSU's lecturers were PhD levels n they had various patterns of robes, hoods & even mortarboards. But there were a few outstanding one in the HELP graduation - feathery ones by invited overseas people. Dr.Goh was very adorable,as usual. Tiny in a huge, black n blue robe with the round, artist hat. Haha...

Yi had a photo session with her family on that day. The package was quite expensive actually as compared to mine... Anyway, the desert was yummy n the whole occassion was a success. I am now an OFFICIAL GRADUATE!

EMPLOYMENT:

I am currently a probation employee in NamFatt Corporation Berhad, located in Klang (next to Am Bank, Stc Chartered Bank & Maxis). Today is my 5th day of work & there will be more days to come, at least that's wat I anticipate...

Previously, I was looking forward to work in event organizing companies but the offer came later than NF's. Just the day when I signed the employment with NF that the lady from Crystal Edge called me. She said her manager wasn't around so she had to drag 2 weeks before she could contact me. In my opinion, however, they offered some1 else and that some1 else turned down their offer. I must be like their 3rd or 4th offer I guess. My desire to work in the event organizing field was motivated by the entertainment news, mostly showed on TV. Wheneva I watch a succesful concert, I felt the urge to be there, to be apart of the team that brought the concert to its success. Alas, Galaxy didn't want me. Crystal Edge would be my stepping stone in this line but I had to forego. Probably some things are meant to be dreams & reality remains reality. Plus, I was worried that my brain couldn't handle the stress of events(due to irregular working hours). If I had the chance in the near future, I am willing to venture into that field...

So, here I am now in NF, working as a Sales & Marketing Exec. Many asked y? What has psychology got to do with this job? During interviews, it was easy to link the foreign job fields but now, based on a 5 days working experience, I haven't seen or used the application besides using psychology to adapt to the environment & getting to know people (there aren't many that I know). I was called into a meeting on Wednesday during the last minute. It was a proposal by the interior designer regarding our upcoming project. Of course, I wasn't familiar with their interior design, architect jargons. What interest me more was the behavior of the many managers in the room. Some were listening, some were on the phone, some were walking in n out... Different ways of behaving attracted my attention... I preferred observing people than to understand what interior designing was all about... Psychology roots huh?

I'm not saying that I hate my job. There are a lot of things to learn, no doubt. So far, it's still a pleasant environment. Not bad.. My manager sayang me (newbie ma... haha). A few nice n friendly colleagues (& I believe the number will increase in time).

I am still undergoing assessments by UOB. I haven't let that chance go. I would definitely not let go a better chance if I were to be offered one. At the same time also applying for Nestle & HSBC...

Another thing... THere seems to be "constant" employees leaving the company and new employees coming in. I wonder y the leaving? I remembered seeing a girl during my 2nd visit to NF & she was gone when I started work. THe other day, I heard another 1 or 2 leaving the company. Then, there are new people coming in as well... It's weird...

*I got hints that my manager probably isn't as nice as she portrays herself to be...* (No comments for now)

MAY'S BIRTHDAY:

My "lesbian" partner, dearest QIan May, is coming back this weekend to meet up with us & to celebrate her belated birthday. I suggested eating dim sum & putting the candle on either the siu mai or ha kau but she didn't want to. I suggested chee cheong fun instead... Hahaha...

Freestyle Dance Performance (Korea:PREPIX)

2007-04-13T22:20:00.001+08:00

I love the slow shadowy movement part. Just like the Matrix... I really admire their dancing skills!

Scary interviews...

2007-04-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

The assessment by UOB is by far the most tiring of all cos it took up my energy for the whole day...

The interview at Inti Nilai was a gruesome experience cos it was my 1st time having to have eye contact with 3 interviewers. They gave me hypothetical situations, gave me the worst case scenarios till I ran out of ideas n words to reply their tough "if" questions. However, at the end of the day, the interviewer said I performed well...

Interview by Crystal Edge - I felt intimidated cos the interviewer bombed me of not preparing myself - portraying me as not keen in getting the job. Well... I admit that I just browsed through their web page. She also said I had "wrong" information about the company. I did went into another page n I mentioned about it. She said "no, we don't do that". What can I say? During my 2nd time there, I told her that I double checked n that was what I saw... She couldn't say much after that...

Interview by Armstrong marketing... The director was a smart yet "slippery" person. He knew how to frame his words well. It's like he bombs u in the midst of the conversation in a discreet way. After the usual getting to know session, I asked him about my salary at the end of the interview. He told me as a fresh grad, I shouldn't ask about my pay. I shouldn't price tag myself. Well, it made sense but later I realized that I had the rights to know what am I working for. I needed to weight the advantages n disadvantages. Realistically, money is one of the many reasons to why a person works. So, i HAVE THE RIGHTS TO KNOW! He even said that if a prestigious company wants him as an employee, he would work even without pay. I totally don't believe that! He also bombed me of not doing my homework. I am sooo not equipped with advertising background... One more thing.. He kinda has prejudice towards females, saying that as females, most of us dream of having a beautiful family life, so we don have to worry about work as we have husbands to support us. In other words, he's saying that we may not be all the committed n we may leave the company anytime. It's totally discrimination towards females! I admit my shortcomings but... he's not someone that I wanna work for...

Which else?

1st & 2nd assessment by UOB for Management Associate Program & waiting...

2007-04-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

The assessment/ interview session was the most exhausting one of all (comparing to other interviews). There was a forum and an assessment day on Friday evening and Saturday (whole day) respectively. This is none other than the Management Associate Program under United Overseas Bank.

After sending in my application, I received an email, requesting that I attend both forum and assessment at the Park Royal Hotel. THe forum was on Friday evening, which served to explain in detail the "WH" questions about UOB and what the MA program was all about - the job scope, future prospect, salary, benefits etc. I left home at 4pm, taking the ktm all the way to KL Central, then changing to the Monorail to reach Jln Bukit Bintang. Upon reaching, Mr. Chan Ka Hing said my hair was messy. (Note: I had my hair dyed n a new, wilder hair cut. So, I tied my hair which made me look younger, not as mature as I would have hoped for) Anyway, I spent 20 minutes in the restroom trying to groom myself to a better shape. Haha... Registration started at 6pm n Miss Foo was not at the venue yet. I bumped in Karen n Joyce. What a small world?! Hahaha... There were presentations from a few speakers and a lot of jargons were thrown out. I hardly understood the banking terms. Nonetheless, they made the forum a relaxed n light-hearted one. The top management people were friendly and they joked their way about during the Q&A session. There were of course a few people who stood out during Q&A n there were some who looked cocky - well, by 1st impression... After that was the reception - light food. Most of us hardly had dinner n we could only nibble here n there. We had to socialize with "top" people at the same time. Yi n I were hiding at a corner, trying to gobble down our food cos Yi's dad was waiting outside for us. However, we were unable to escape the eyes of a few. Probably, those few who approached us felt that we were isolating ourselves (haha) or maybe my bright, dyed hair attracted their attention (Vain? Yes...) We kinda "ran" away from the venue after that...

Saturday - 2nd day whole day assessment
Left Klang at 6.45am. Yi n I parked our car at KL Central, taking the monorail to Bukit Bintang. Reached there 10 minutes before 8am. The assessment started at 9am DURING BREAKFAST. There was hardly any chance to eat cos we had to show our socializing skills. Eating while talking probably isn't such a nice scene. After breakfast was the group discussion. We were divided into groups and debatable topics were thrown at us for us to discuss n state our comments. My group started with "Life is not about winning or losing. It's all about win-win". The following topics were "Life is a journey", "To err is human, To forgive is Divine" n "Positive attitude". I think That's about it... I obviously spoke my opinion from a psychology point of view. Joyce n I were in the same group. Our opinions did not differ much but we phrased it in different words. My group was moderate in their stating of comments. Some groups, as I was told, had dominating speakers. Lunch came after the group discussion...

Truthfully, even though there was no assessment during lunch time, we couldn't let our guards down. Had to be poised n mannerful at all times. The brain had to be operating every now n then... The short-listing was disclosed at 1.15pm. We were separated into 2 groups - through or not through. 4 of us passed the assessment.

The 2nd level assessment was interesting. There were activities involving 3 criteria - creativity, writing skills n presentation skills. We were divided into groups of 5 n were given the same assignment - to build an "egg catcher machine" with the materials given (e.g. newspaper, straws, tissue, paper clips) in 20 minutes. 2 eggs were dropped from a height of 5ft one after another. The function of the machine was to catch the eggs uncracked. Budgeting was also part of the assignment. My group's egg catcher did not work out as both eggs broke. THe next assignment was to improvise on the 1st machine to prepare for a 6ft egg drop. Since the eggs broke for our 1st machine, we had to rebuild from scratch, this time using the remaining materials, which were the more expensive ones. We had conflicts here n there cos some focused on not breaking the egg even if the egg bounces out while others focused on making it an egg catcher, as in making sure it doesn't bounce out in the 1st place. Given the time restriction (20 minutes also), we decided to make sure that the eggs don't break. Ours were the only group with both eggs not breaking at 6ft although they did bounce out. Our budget was of course higher than other groups... That was the end of the creative session.

I chose the topic of "Good leadership is vital to an individual's progress" to write about in 20 minutes. I had brain stuck sessions a little here n there but I managed to write a full page about it. Presentation was after tea time. We had to wait for our turn. The wait was horrible. THere was no rest for my brain as I kept thinking of what to say, reciting my lines. Fortunately for me, i needn't present my topic. My assessors required me to answer their questions - relating my essay to real life situations, more specifically, back to the egg catcher machine scenario. I dunno whether the assessors were satisfied with my answers but I felt satisifed n confident myself...

I'm wondering if my appearance would cause my being rejected from UOB. I seriously looked like a small girl in my tied hair, more of like a Japanese doll with my fringe. I couldn't let my hair down cos it looks very layered n "wild"....

We shall know the results in a week's time...